


Awfully Good

by TotemundTabu



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Dom Robb Stark, M/M, Sub Theon Greyjoy, Top Robb Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5163104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotemundTabu/pseuds/TotemundTabu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finally, at the second chuckle, he realized the sound was by the man sitting on the row of seats next to his own, against the other train wall. He was looking at him keeping a hand over his mouth, nose resting on a finger. His eyes were incredibly big for a man, and his figure was lean and graceful, he had longish hair that looked like the softest thing in the world.<br/>Somehow, Robb forgave him the laugh.<br/>THROBB | TRAIN DELAY AU | MiniSeries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First part – The Journey

**Awfully Good**

* * *

 

_Tip toeing along a strand of your hair suspended between_ __  
t _hese thoughts and actions miles above reality._ _  
_ _Come look at the scars, s_ _mother a heart, opening up_ _..._

_You open me up..._

\- The Foreboding Sense of Impeding Happiness, H.I.M.

 

* * *

 

**First part – The Journey**

 

“ _Il problema verrà risolto il prima possibile. Ci scusiamo per il disagio._ ” the voice over him said, human, after a whole travel with a registered voice: bad sign. Robb waited some moments for an English version of the message, but it never came. He blinked, raised his head, as if searching for the speaker would have, in some way, fix his doubts.

Nothing.

“Are you serious?” he whispered to himself, exhausted.

A small chuckle reached his ear and he turned around, looking for the origin of that unneeded irony. The granny in the seat in front of his own, who slept a solid three hours and ate a whole baguette with nutella in the only fifteen minutes she was awake was still in the realm of dreams; the child in the seat behind him who shrieked for the whole travel time between Milan and Brescia finally seemed to have been knocked out by tiredness and his mother was thanking God with her hands collected in a praying gesture; at a couple seats of distance, the weird girl who drew kittens all over her notebook seemed to be too focused with her a bit too loud music. Finally, at the second chuckle, he realized the sound was by the man sitting on the row of seats next to his own, against the other train wall. He was looking at him keeping a hand over his mouth, nose resting on a finger. His eyes were incredibly big for a man, and his figure was lean and graceful, he had longish hair that looked like the softest thing in the world.

Somehow, Robb forgave him the laugh.

“Ah... - he startled a bit awkward, muttering – Do you speak English?”

“Most definitely.” he smiled at him, smug, moving his crossed legs a bit.

Robb looked at the three empty seats around the man, gave a silent goodbye to the granny of the nutella baguette and rushed to sit in front of the pretty boy, in whose eyes a sudden rush of flattering shone.

“I... I don't get what they said.”

“That we will rot here before the train moves.”

Robb widened his eyes, “What?”

The man sighed, a bit amused, “The voice said we will have to wait and that they will fix the damage, but if you ever took a train in Italy, you must know it can mean half an hour or... six hours.”

“But- but...”

“Is it your first time here?”

Robb gave a tiny, shy smile, “Yeah... I guess it's not for you, though.”

“Theon. - he introduced with a smug smile and the knowingly look – I'm a Romance Literatures Major: French, Spanish and, yes, Italian.”

“Robb. - he reached for the hand to shake it, his smile shone bright and kind – My brother studies in Venice, so I am going to meet him.”

“Venice is not a place to go with a brother. - Theon chuckled – What a waste.”

Robb frowned, “Who should I go with, then?”

Theon seemed to ponder over it, “A sweet half? But now that I think of it, it sounds like an awful lot of commitment. It's like taking her to Paris. She'd get the idea she can stick around forever.”

Robb laughed, sinking into his seat, “Well, I don't have one: to commit to or not, so...”

Theon looked surprised and blinked: the guy in front of him was a hot piece of mess. Ruffled, to-grab-and-pull during sex auburn curls that reflected red like a lit cigarette, and the eyes of a delicate, strong greyish azure as ice in winter. He had broad, wide shoulders, a neck that seemed created to bite and full, fleshy lips that Theon found himself fantasizing about shamelessly. How was he single? How didn't he have a small flock of girls around?

“You must be a shy one...” he commented with a wide smirk.

Robb looked out of the window: the train stopped forty minutes before the announcement and, as Theon suggested, it didn't want to seem to move.

“It's a bit more complicated than that...” he admitted, absent-minded.

Theon's eyes moved quickly, he felt curious, enthrilled.

“How do you mean?”

A voice hovered over them, a crunchy sound, glass breaking at the microphone, “ _Stiamo aspettando i pompieri, il treno non riprenderà a muoveri per i prossimi cinquanta minuti, ci scusiamo per il disagio._ \- Robb looked at Theon, horrified, waiting for a translation, but the other man was squinting his eyes, trying to catch everything –  _I passeggeri potranno usufruire di caffé ed acqua alla carrozza cinque._ ”

“What did it say?”

“What's your position about cannibalism in emergency situations?” he asked, a hint of a smug grin breaking the dead-pan pitch in his voice.

Robb sighed, sinking in the seat again, but a smile widened on his face.

“Well, there was a screaming six-year old before that would taste gorgeous with gravy and mashed potatoes.”

“Oh, oh! - Theon pointed at him, victorious in his smirk – I awoke your dark humor, I like it.”

Robb smiled, his eyes turning brighter, he scratched his nape, slightly embarrassed, but mostly feeling himself confused by a warmth taking over his chest.

Robb looked at Theon’s chest, his glance falling on the lines of his chest he could see through the shape of it – it was white with golden vertical lines, a strong contrast with the black skinny trousers and the black, absent-mindedly half-untied tie, it was daring, yet on him it looked harmonious, gold bringing out the hazel and the cerulean from his eyes, making them bright – and how nice his hands looked, so firm, yet elegant, tapering fingers, like a pianist. Theon chuckled, noticing Robb's eyes glistering in lust.

“Ah... I... nice shirt.” he commented, awkwardly straightening his back, coughing a bit.

“Nice lie.”

“I... - he seemed honest, blushing a bit – I mean it, though?”

Theon swallowed a bit of tension; a bitter sharp feeling got stuck in his chest, “Thank you...”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing, I... - he caressed a bit, unconsciously the shirt's sleeve – My... my exboyfriend used to hate it, I didn't wear it in almost a year.”

Robb's ears moved a bit in surprise, while a redder shade fell on his freckled pale skin.

_Ex_ and _Boyfriend_ sounded like words that would be able to open the gates of heaven.

A stupidly happy smile got painted on his lips, pulling the corners of his mouth up to his cheeks. Theon couldn't help himself from feeling a delicate grasp pull his guts: that guy was beyond cute, he had that innocent gaze and, yet, beyond the naïf type eyes, he could see a trustworthy, strong man, the type he didn't know he wanted because he didn't know he could hope for: tender and firm, strong and kind.

“He was an idiot.” Robb whispered, breathy, in his enchanted smile.

Theon blinked slowly, biting his bottom lip, “It was not his worst flaw.”

“I... - Robb hesitated a bit, before admitting it, stuttering at first – I am not out yet.” he confessed, in a mumble.

“Let me guess: extremely conservative, extremely kind yet strict father figure you would never want to disappoint...”

“And an Irish-catholic mother. - Robb smiled, feeling a bitter mixture of feelings as he was understood but undressed, wrapped yet naked – How did you know?”

“You strike me as the big brother cute guy type, so I doubt your dad would be either an asshole or de-responsabiliser...”

“Which type was yours?”

“The one to slam a dish on my face and tell me faggots are not admitted under his roof.” he tried to laugh while saying it, but his voice cracked and came out metallic and torn.

“I'm sorry... - Robb frowned – I... that's awful.”

Theon managed to show a fake grin and shrug his shoulders, “I lived with my sister for a while, until I finished my degree and then I moved to France for a bit... now, here I am...”

“You plan to live in Venice?”

“I'll see... - Theon put a hand behind his head, scratching his nape, caught between a slight embarrassment and a light-hearted sensation of freedom – I'm not sure. I sort of figured out I can't belong anywhere. Is faithfulness in that case even a value or more of a stupid slowness of mind?”

“I suppose you can see it like that... - Robb mumbled, sadness sparkling in his eyes – But I think loyalty is what saves us after all.”

“From what?” Theon asked, between mockery and provocation.

“The cold... a winter of the soul.”

Theon arched an eyebrow, frowning. Robb tried to explain it better and cursed internally because words were not his forte. And all in all he just felt a bit stupid speaking up to a man in a train so openly, but he couldn't help it.

“When winter comes, when cold weather seizes everything all you can do is find warmth in others. A pack survives, a lone wolf dies.”

“So fidelity is an anachronistic leftover of survival needs?”

“Maybe, but.” Robb couldn’t avoid getting defensive, seeing all he believed in questioned, but then he caught a glimpse in Theon's glance. 

Fragility hidden behind snarkiness, broken hopes behind cynical remarks.

And he found out they were not so different.

“How did someone so un-romantic study literature?”

“To flirt.”

“The real reason being?”

Theon sighed, scoffed – his eyes got teary.

“I guess all that anachronistic stuff is fascinating for me too...”

Robb smiled, victoriously.

“So there is a softie, there, under sharp smirks and dick jokes!”

“I'll let you know sexual innuendos constitute roughly 90 % of my personality.” Theon's smug smile widened.

“Only the innuendos?” Robb asked, out of the blue.

They both blinked, taking some seconds to assimilate the fact that Robb did ask that for real.

The younger one screamed inside his head, feeling his tongue burn with regret and proceeding to insult himself and his stupidity at lightspeed in every single possible way.

Theon swallowed a bit, but hid it behind a grin, his voice went softer, suave as he replied, “Well, the practice is still my favorite part.”

Robb almost suffocated on his own saliva, coughing loudly and letting out a choked wheeze.

He looked as frustrated and embarrassed as a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

Theon found it weirdly adorable, like something he could just eat up. He took mercy on him and let out a low chuckle, “It's fine, don't boil over it.”

Robb pulled his voice out, then, strong, dark, “Why did you and your boyfriend break up?”

Theon didn't reply, he looked around, as a deer trying to hear noises far away. He was too proud, too scared, too in need of forgetting.

“I guess, I was tired.”

Robb seemed confused, he caught a lie in that- because Theon's voice trembled with the echo of a bigger feeling trapped behind his tongue.

He got lost a moment, thinking that Theon had really long eyelashes for a man. Long, tapering fingers, long hair and long cheekbones. He looked like a fairytale prince, he thought, but so tired, as if he had lost a battle or if it had been lost since years.

Maybe a Lohengrin, with eyes full of regrets, as he moves again on his boat.

A weird, warm noise broke the spell. His stomach wanted attention, and food.

After one hour from their having ruthlessly stopped on the road, Robb could feel a hole opening into his stomach, hunger corroding it.

Theon looked at him in vague pity, blinking.

“Hungry?”

“A bit. - he gave an embarrassed chuckle – How are you not?”

“Trains make me sick. - Theon explained distractedly, rummaging into his bag and then handing Robb quickly a chocolate bar – Places without water, in general, do.”

“Like an opposite seasickness?”

“You could say so. - Theon found himself smiling, without the usual attitude as if everything around him was ridiculous and laughable, but with a melancholic hint – My mom used to take me and my sister a lot on boats.”

Robb startled, in grieving worry, “D-Did she...”

His face was stained in a certain sadness, a rigid one, as if he couldn't allow himself more; “She... she is alive. - Theon mumbled, the idea of being pitied confusing and nauseating him at the same time – She got Alzheimer.”

“I'm... I'm sorry, I...”

“It's fine. It happened early. - he brushed it off – But my father, he got even worse somehow with it, as if it were even possible for how unconceivable.”

Robb's eyes darkened in pain. He could just barely imagine how he'd feel if his mother forgot him or how Bran or Sansa would have felt is she couldn't recognize them. At the idea of how deeply Sansa would have felt, he held a bit of his shirt over his heart.

It hurt.

It hurt beyond possible.

Theon looked outside of the window, opening it as much as it was allowed before forcing the glass, and took out of his pockets a packet of Lucky Strikes.

Robb frowned a bit because of it: he didn't like bad habits, but he couldn't complain as he saw Theon's soft lips around the cigarette. He felt a warmth diffusing to his groin, a tension striking his hips.

He didn't know it was possible to find someone smoking sexy, but he did. Theon's hand, holding the tobacco stick, with an innate delicacy, his lips sucking in softly, then his mouth opening to let out the hottest smoke.

Robb lost himself in those soft lips that seemed to be made to be kissed, panting, breathless, beastly.

Robb could feel drops of time passing, one after the other, slow motion in his stomach.

He looked at the clock and realized they were three hours late, but he didn't care. He didn't even write to Jon to tell him and the reason why was obvious, in front of him, handsome and damned, smoking a Lucky Strike.

Theon found Robb looking at him and mumbled, “Does it annoy you?”

“No. - Robb granted – How long were you living in France before moving?”

“A year... - he chuckled, almost – I lived with my ex some months but then I couldn't do it.”

“How come? I mean, you moved in together.”

“Some people are homes. Some are cages.” commented Theon, briefly, while his eyes slowly lingering by the window.

“Cryptic.”

“I was as blunt as I could.”

“Do you never miss him?”

Theon took a moment to answer, resting the head against the seat and contemplating the woods and country around them. It was green and silent and cold and, somehow, he thought it felt like a home he never found.

“I missed myself more. - his fingers moved the curtain slightly to hide the view, his voice shook a bit – And you? Never had any soft dull romance to curse after?”

“Not really.” Robb admitted, looking at his own hands.

“You were too afraid to?”

“Afraid of what?”

Theon shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe you felt guilty about lying to your family.”

Robb's eyes flickered on Theon's skin, pale with sadness, on his lean frame, on how inviting and tempting he looked and how much he would have just wanted to have the guts to pass from casual flirting and nervous smelling of each other’s' tails like scared dogs to just kissing him and admitting he felt adrenaline pumping in his veins since hours.

“I never met someone who was worth saying the truth for.”

“Never been in love?”

Theon's voice hid bitterness behind a liquorish, sultry, sensual pitch. Robb confirmed it, then: they were really not that different, after all.

They were two hungry children, striving for company, lost in their reciprocals solitudes. 

“I always just felt as if I was missing something. - he swallowed – Like an arm or a part of me. I always had... - he ruffled his hair, caught in words - … the space next to me always felt so big and empty. I guess I wanted someone there.”

“A friend?” Theon suggested.

“Not quite. - Robb frowned his eyebrows, as if he tried to focus, remembering how alone he felt, how he needed someone to understand him and love him for who he was always, including the weaknesses he denied to his family or hid from friends, someone who would have kept him together by doing nothing more than being at his side always with a smile and a deep trust – Not only.”

Theon's eyes painted slowly Robb's body with a gentle care. The corners of his mouth bent upward.

He reached out for Robb's hand on the small table between them, his fingertips just caressing and brushing the back of the other's hand. They felt warm and soft.

In that moment a strong shook made them startle and, slowly, the train started moving again. Robb smiled slowly, relieved at the idea of not dying of old age in the wagon, Theon swallowed and tried to back off, taking away his hand; but , as he saw it, the auburn-haired man caught it.

“You felt the same, didn't you?”

Theon stiffed, scoffed and mocked, “What are you, tiger? A forty year old housewife’s fantasy? Look, you'll have to change your name to Alejandro and rip your shirt open for that career.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“If people make me.” Theon mumbled to himself, fakely absent-minded, but the way his glance fell again on Robb betrayed the tease. 

Robb was collecting the balls to speak. He repeated to himself to be calm, collected, charming, confident but not forceful, mysterious but not confusing, passionate but not bold; and he stared deeply into Theon's eyes, losing the perception of the world around them. 

He had to kiss him, kiss him strong and well, kiss him deep. He had to kiss Theon so good he would be swoo...

“Tickets, please.”

Theon turned, his face deformed in the most bewildered expression, “Wait, you came to ask for them? We are so late you should give us all the price back.”

“ _ Loquace _ . - the man mumbled to himself – I'm sorry, I have to check, I don't make the rules.”

Theon handed his perfectly fine and precise ticket, getting a stamp over it, while Robb started looking for his in his jeans pockets, taking out, finally, a wrinkled, bent and almost decomposed thing that should have been his ticket.

The ticket inspector gave Robb an exasperated look and printed the ticket, then turning to Theon, “Next time, take care also of the one of your boyfriend.”

“A- - Robb interrupted, more to save Theon from a possible embarrassment than for a real problem he could have with the comment – We're not... you know...”

“ _ E io sono Rocco Siffredi _ .”, the man commented quickly, going to the next traveler.

Theon snickered and dried a tear from his eye, while Robb just frowned and looked around like a lost puppy, “What did he say?”

“He... didn't really believe you.”

Robb seemed confused. Sure, he liked Theon but he didn't think they really looked like a couple after all, even if... Theon got fairly closer to him over the hours, his hands searching for a contact with his own and the face a bit out... and he too relaxed, widening his legs and getting a bit closer.

Maybe.

That sounded nice.

“Would you like it?”

Theon stiffened and gulped but hid it off with a cough and a smug “Don't you give rush a new meaning?”

“I'm asking for a date, not for a wedding.”

Theon lowered his head and turned it to the side, hiding a smile. His bottom lip quivered.

“I don't... think that...” he couldn't even bring himself to finish the sentence as he saw Robb's face getting dull with pain. 

As hope left his eyes less bright, stripping them from the shining blue, Robb faked the worst small smile ever, trying not to make Theon feel bad and in order to avoid feeling stupid himself.

“It's okay, I get it, I mean, I came out as this weirdo guy who-”

“I just got out of a... look, I have heavy stuff. And I don't mean it like comfort me and make me believe in love again. - he laughed bitterly – I mean it like I'm a mess, I already was a selfish twat and now I am most definitely unable to care about others and that's the type of shit that fucks other people up and I don't want to be to you what others were to me.”

Robb sucked his lips and Theon had to stop himself from the urge to throw away his own words and kiss him, deep and long, running his hands through those dark copper curls.

“I stopped needing protection at six.” Robb let out, annoyed, hurt.

Theon sighed. His tongue felt swollen and heavy, words hard and distant.

“I know, you're the big strong brother who needs no training wheels on his bike. - he sassed, smiling – But I am not a straight road with no cars, I'm the motherfucking shitty mountain road with just one lane for both directions and at least thirty bends. I'd blow you off in the bathroom of this train, but you're the cute guy who wants romance and probably to own a dog and I let a cactus die dehydrated.”

Robb stared at Theon and how tiny he looked. Sure, he was a man, like him, but fear seemed to have made him skinny, fragile. He looked so beautiful and so burnt.

How deep did he bury his heart?

How deep was the hole he dug with his own hands, throwing all his fragilities and honest wishes down to sink and rot?

“So I have no choice?”

“None.”

“I don't like it.”

“How spoiled.”

“If I truly want something, I'll get it.”

“That's the definition of being spoiled, yes.”

Robb caught Theon's hand in his own and smiled, “If you said you disliked me, I would have gone. But if it's just fear, the only cure is bravery.”

“We need to discuss your fondness for catchphrases.” Theon commented, biting a bit his lips.

His eyes lingered on Robb again, this time wondering how his skin would have felt, under his hands, against his own, how sweet it would have tasted and how nice would have it been with a constellation of hickeys to contrast its pale softness.

He wanted to devour him.

“I propose a game.”

“A game? - Theon seemed amused – Which kind?”

“I make an assumption about you. If I'm wrong, you have to correct me and then make an assumption yourself, if I win, you have to tell me a fact about yourself.”

“...this is the most boring game I ever heard of.”

“Cluedo.”

“Fair. - he snorted – The second most boring game I ever heard of.”

“Afraid to lose?”

“To fall asleep, mostly.”

Robb smiled, “Give it a try. - his blue eyes could have got him everything and Theon sighed, making him grin – Yeah!”

“You are a big kid inside, are you aware of it?”

Robb faked to concentrate really hard, trying to enter in a serious mood and then mumbled, slowly, weighting every word, “Your first crush was a friend of your sister.”

Theon made a weird, high-pitched sound, like a siren from an ambulance, “Wrong. Of my brother.”

“You didn't tell me you have a brother.”

“Isn't it a shame? - he grinned, tasting the pleasant taste of winning – Your best friend is either your dog or the closest to your age between your brothers.”

Robb throw his hands in the air, “How?”

“You're an open book and a delicious trope. - he smirked – I'm waiting for my well-deserve trivia.”

“I...umh, am intolerant to eggs.”

“That was unexpectedly uninteresting.” Theon admitted.

“Okay, my turn. - Robb became serious: by then it was a challenge and he didn't intend to lose – Your favorite book is something French and heavy.”

“Too vague.”

“Les miserables, no, wait, wait! Notre Dame de Paris.”, he insisted.

Theon grinned like the Cheshire cat, “One or the other.”

“Notre Dame.”

“Wrong. - he giggled – Madame Bovary.”

“It was a trap!” Robb complained, shocked. He seemed genuinely puzzled at why someone would do that.

Theon found him so cute he couldn't help but laugh, deep-heartedly, and ruffle Robb's curls.

“Life is a trap. - he winked – Trivia.”

Robb cleared his throat and admitted, slightly ashamed, “My younger sister, Sansa, wanted to watch Twilight and I... went with her to the cinema.”

“Really?”

“I wanted to make sure nobody would have... you know...”

“Are you sure you are not Clark Kent?”

“I vote democrats.”

Theon smirked, biting his lips slowly, “You were an Arthurian dork as a kid.”

Robb laughed, “How do you do that?”

“Sold my soul to Satan for it. For this and my olympic sexual performances.”

The other man flushed a bit and scratched his nape, embarrassed, “How many...”

“Women, men or grand total?”

“You... counted?” Robb seemed a bit disturbed. 

He suddenly felt a bit small, young. He had sex with only three girls, all after pretty shallow relationships that he gave anyway all of himself to, and no boy ever... he really couldn't bring himself to risk it.

As he looked at Theon, though, he reconsidered it...

“If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask questions.” Theon advised. 

“Did you love any of them?”

“Wasn't the game based on assumption rather than interrogative sentences?”

“Theon...”

He felt a bit scolded, which was a weird sensation, but not entirely unpleasant.

“What's love all about? I'm a man, men have sex, they don't...”

“Who told you that bullshit?”

Theon swallowed and fell silent; Robb looked at him, tenderly, yet firmly.

Theon hesitated on his answer. The truth was tickling his tongue, tempting him, but pride refused, stubborn.

“No. - he admitted, in the end, tired, looking away – I didn't.”

Robb's eyes widened in surprise, a genuine happy smile.

Theon had the sensation he could have stained him merely through his presence. He was not used to people like Robb, he was not confident with how to handle him at all.

They seemed so easy to hurt and yet Robb looked way stronger than him.

“Ever?”

“Never, - he coughed, smug – I repeat, it's not like I wanted to, anyway.”

“Why wouldn't you?” Robb asked, squinting his eyes, perplexed, while a smiled widened, incredulous on his full lips.

“Why would I?” Theon provoked back, smug, eyebrow raised and a challenging pitch firing his tongue.

And he knew why. It's not like he didn't miss it.

He felt cold running through his bones at every moment in which the awareness of solitude caught him. Being loved sounded beautiful and impossible. Too much for him to hope for, and he was not daring, not strong enough to be really vulnerable and take a blow right in his stomach. His smirking mask was enough.

It was safer, it was more prudent. As long as he never took anybody seriously, he would have been shielded and safe.

Well, except from his father. He never managed to be strong enough for him not to shatter his shield, pierce his heart deep in the raw flesh and then piss on it.

And Ramsay, but that was another story....

He shivered.

Robb frowned, placing a hand over Theon's and staring at him.

“All fine?”

“Yes, yes sure.” he stuttered.

“Theon...”

“Hm?”

Robb's hand slowly went up to Theon's wrist, brushing gently on his arm's skin. His soft skin felt electric under the touch, set on fire.

Theon missed that touch, so tender and warm, since way before he knew. He missed it deeply beyond its limits, beyond all he felt. There was not a part of him that didn't need it.

But he couldn't and he knew that even too well.

What he wanted and what he could have were incompatible since the start.

He couldn't hope for more. He was too beyond the line to be saved and too proud to allow people to try in vain.

In a certain way, he liked being resigned, having his heart like a paralyzed limb.

It was somewhat comforting and it limited the disappointments; there were no wounds in a scheme without hopes.

Theon knew there were way more awful things in life than the simple not being loved, he always survived that, he never got destroyed by that. He went on, weakened but whole.

It was the continuous disappointments, the perpetual hoping and then failing that made him lose pieces of himself around, like a tired boat of rotten wood that had been in the sea longer than whales. He lost too much with time and then he felt as if his legs lacked bones to sustain them and still had to walk.

His father, Ramsay, the continuous endless absence of something better... that destroyed him. It made him thin, spineless, surrendered.

He remembered still how time took away everything he loved, even archery.

He stared at his hand, how normal it looked now, how different from that night when Ramsay broke it and stabbed it with a bottle.

The amount of micro fractions allowed him to heal and yet the bow was impossible.

He lost it.

A scar still runs on his back, following the lines of the bones, it looked slightly arched yet jagged, indented. It was where the line of the bottle ran.

He remembered the burn.

How dense his flesh felt, as the glass sank.

_ I really did love you in some way, not a real one, not a deep one, but I did feel for you that sick, pathetic affection of an underdog that recognizes in the other the same as him: a love-starved heart that just wanted control over his life. -  _ he wrote so to Ramsay in his goodbye letter, before leaving and trying to forget it all -  _ I don't know why you did it and I still can't understand, I am not sure I want to. You always complained you loved me more than I did, that you needed me more, and your love made you wicked and nasty. It made you angry. Your love was rotten just as I was, which I found fitting for a while, but turns out I have more of a survival instinct than I thought.  _

The train stopped with a stretched, screamed cry, making Theon regret not being deaf, while Robb clenched his teeth and looked outside, curious.

“What's happening?”

“Verona. - Theon commented with a quick smile, as he read the blue sign outside, then turned to Robb, seeing him not connecting the dots and returned to his British accent –  _ In fair Verona _ .”

“Oh, oh!”

Theon smiled, “You know, here they have a statue of Juliet and they say if you touch her boob you'll be lucky.”

Robb stared at Theon intensely, “You're making fun of me.”

“I swear to god.”

“The boob statue.”

“The boob statue.” he confirmed.

Robb looked out of the window as if he had just discovered corruption exists in the world and furrowed at the Verona sign, “But... why?”

“Not sure, but they also twirl on bull's balls so...”

“Are Italians so into sex?”

Theon smirked as if Robb served him a joke on a silver dish, but he decided to let it go, while something more interesting caught his mind, making his pupils widen in interest.

“If you could start it over, completely, no bonds, no ties, no expectations... what would you do?”

Robb laughed nervously, “Those were not the rules.”

“The rules don't count anymore.” Theon affirmed, his lips hard and serious, full and parted, hanging to the late answer.

Robb breathed in, shook his head, “I am not sure... I... as a kid, I wanted to be an archeologist.”  
“You crucify yourself a lot for a man of such simple desires.”

“What do you mean?”

“For how I am, for how you are, I should loathe myself or beat myself up way more than I do. While you seem like you struggle to keep yourself under control, like a nervous bear, like if underneath a beast was trying to come out and devour everything he never had. - Theon's mouth corners seemed sharp, Robb couldn't say if with endearment, disappointment, solitude, tenderness, but his voice got dense with an aroused, liquid, dark pitch – But under the beast, beyond that, there is also a layer beyond and it's a child.”

Robb felt a bit mocked, “So, what am I: a knight, a beast or a baby?”

Theon smiled, “All of them, Robb.”

“That sounds like an awful mess.”

“Oh, trust me, in confrontation to me, you're not even slightly fucked up.”

“You say so, but... - his hand played with Theon's fingers – I feel I never met before someone I was so similar to.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.”

“Differ if you please, I'm still right!” Robb scoffed, laughing.

Theon opened his mouth in shock, “I- You are not right.”

“Yes, I am. Nobody can tell me how I've felt before and how I feel now.”

“This doesn't make the thing true, though? - Theon provoked – It just makes you a disillusioned wishful thinker.”

“Add that to the layers. - Robb smiled, then he bit his lips, staring at Theon's neck, the Adam's apple sticking out and the collarbones slightly popping up from the opened shirt – Don't you feel it even a bit, though?”

“No. - Theon shook his head, then smiled – To be fair, I felt I never had in my life anyone so different from me. It's refreshing.”

“So we feel the same by feeling the opposite?”

“So it seems.”

And for an instant, it seemed like things couldn't get them, catch them or make them prisoners. As if life left them behind, duties abandoned them.

Robb's finger ran on Theon's lips, caressing them, enjoying, naughtily, the sultry taste he imagined them to possess, feeling heat and tension observing how tenderly and softly they bent under his fingertip just to raise again, full, as the finger proceeded on the rest of the lip.

He wanted those lips around his cock.

And - that was the fucked up part, the part that made his heart sink in a clench – he was sure Theon wanted to give him that too. 

He never truly felt desired before, but he also never truly felt desire so strongly either. He wanted Theon – not like a child wants a toy, not like a man wants a prostitute, but like a human wants food after starving and water after the desert. He wanted him as if he couldn't live another day without him being around.

And that was morbid, probably.

But morbid seemed a beautiful change for once.

He always did the right thing, always followed the tracks his father prepared for him, never derailing, and he made him proud, so proud, he made that stern look into a smile often and easily, success after success, duty followed after duty followed. He behaved always as the man his father wanted him to be.

But then... what did he get from that?

His sister Sansa looked at him often with a sad, sympathetic smile, as if she saw the most unhappy man on earth. His brother Jon left the house, leaving him alone with his doubts, his mother suddenly realizing she was so proud of him, so blinded by how correct he was that she forgot about his happiness way too often. His younger siblings didn't seem to notice, except Bran, who had his mother’s predisposition for quick judgment and doubting people and his father’s faithfulness to the family, but he lacked the confidence to speak, they were never as close as the kid wanted.

Robb felt guilty about it, most of times, because he adored his siblings as deeply as the roots of trees go into the wet earth, but he couldn't help to search for someone he needn’t be strong with, someone to unshield his weaknesses with, someone he shouldn't have been the big brother of. Someone even to him.

Even. What a slice.

Theon looked in his rucksack and took out of it something, handing it to him. Robb squinted his eyes. 

“How much chocolate do you have in that bag?”

Theon laughed, taking a cigarette, “It's good for your mood. - he winked – There's liquorice in that one so you might want not to finish it all if you have high pressure.”

“Quite the opposite... - he admitted, munching – Waking up in the morning is a pain in the ass.”

Theon smiled, enigmatically. Fucking smirking Monna Lisa.

“Is it funny to you?”

“I discovered your weakness. - Theon grinned, his eyes naughty, he put his lips a bit out whistling – Ummh, what could I do with this very very precious information?”

Robb gulped soundly.

Theon was a very impulsive person; that's how much he understood. He claimed to not want anything, to not plan to even have sex with him because he looked like the good guy who would have suffered – he claimed he just wanted sex in relationships, but still he clearly had the sad look of those whose life killed their dreams and still, stubbornly, against their own will, found themselves hoping that in a way they could be true – and he was flirting and being sweet together. He felt like a vertigo.

He felt like a wild ride on the road of desire.

“To use it at your own advantage, we should, before, be at least in a hotel room together.” he hit back.

Theon seemed impressed, tempted. He sucked his lips, bit them, quickly, needy.

“I bet... - he stared directly in Robb's eyes with a flirty, wet, gleam in his eyes – Even if we were, you wouldn't know what to do with the situation, shy boy.”

“I'm not shy.”

“You are. - he smirked – It's like seeing the ten year old me.”

“It's hard to imagine you shy.”

“I was. - he laughed – My sister found it somewhat cute. I just found it bothersome.”

Robb seemed offended, “So it's... am I bothersome?”

“No. - Theon smiled – I guess, by now, I came to agree with my sister. You are cute.”

Robb's jaw seemed to get harder, “I would know what to do.”

“Really?”

“Do you want to return to our little game of before? - Theon challenged him – Let's spice it up: if I get three facts straight in a row, you'll do whatever I ask. If I fail even one, you get a wish.”

Robb looked at his own luck and was sure to lose, but there was no way in hell he was going to let go of that occasion.

“I'm waiting.”

Theon smirked, started smoking, ignoring the clear forbidden sign, and mumbled, “First, you never even kissed a man, because you are jackshit scared of disappointing your parents.”

Robb swallowed, “I would if I...”

“One point for me. – Theon said, ruthless – Second, you are a hopeless romantic and you decided that at the end of this travel not spending time together would be a waste.”

“It would.” Robb stated.

“Third. - and there Theon's eyes trembled with the ghost of a thought – In the end, you have no idea who nor how I am. I am the bad guy: I smoke on trains, I enjoy sex without strings attached and, god, I look like you could fix me with a romantic attitude. Spoiler: you can't. You are going to get tired or think I am not worth a coming out and, you know, you would be right, because I am not fit for relationships.”

Robb stiffed and grabbed Theon's wrist, making him shiver. When he saw there was fear in his light eyes, he softened the grip and gave a victorious smile.

“You spoke too much. - he couldn't avoid a joyful expression painted on his lips – You were going well, but you wanted to overdo and now I have to claim what you said is wrong.”

“You can't know.”

“I do. - he smiled – And, regardless, I also do not plan to change you. It is not my habit to change people. Or I stay close to them or I don't, but I accept who they are, therefore...”

“Therefore?”

“I won a wish.”

Theon blinked, staring at his wrist and the nice playful gleam in Robb's eyes: so kind and tender, so different from what he was used to see in eyes constricting him. He realized that gestures can mean so much differently, depending on feelings.

“So, what do you want?”

“A dinner.”

“What?”

“I was going for a coffee, but then I know you'd excuse yourself right after, asking for a dinner I know I have at least thirty minutes of conversation granted.”

Damn, he was smarter than Theon gave him credit for.

“You can't.”

“What? It was my wish! - Robb looked almost hurt – It's cheating.”

Theon blinked for a moment, thinking it was probably the first time the big brother allowed himself to ask something for himself by right.

He smiled, “Ask something else, anything.”

Robb mumbled, “A coffee, then, in the café car.”

Theon smiled and agreed, nodding, “I'd like a coffee.”

“You stroke me more as a tea kind of guy.”

“I lost the habit in Paris. Romance countries are morbidly fond of coffee.”

“I tried an espresso at the station and I think I felt my tongue dying.” Robb admitted.

“It's a bit intense. - Theon massaged his bottom lip, absent-mindedly – But when you get used to it, it's awfully good.”

Robb smiled. He tasted it in his mouth, “Awfully good”, unsure why he felt a rush of warmth in his heart. Theon's eyes shone and they both stood up to go to the other wagon.

As he saw him smiling and walking before him, he realized.

“Awfully good” was how he was feeling.

He was feeling happy, feverishly energetic, full of possibilities. And Theon kept looking at him, as if he was addicted to the colour of his skin.

You don't keep looking at someone you don't want to be close to, not like that, not with an insistent urge, not with a dense need to catch, to taste, to touch.

Robb could see it in Theon's eyes: he was studying him, he was trying to absorb every data, every line, every shade, eager and hungry for them.

He liked him as much as he did.

The café on the train was crowded with complaining shouting people, taking off their frustration onto an extremely embarrassed barman with little to no strength to reply.

He just nervously made coffees, praying to himself the shrieking mob would have left him soon alone. It was a hard day and so it looked like it was going to be.

Robb gave the guy a sympathetic look and sat at one of the small round tables, the cleanest, followed by a very much absent-minded Theon.

“So, what do you want?”

“Are you sure this is what you want? A coffee?”

“It's the closest I can get to a date. - he smiled – So?”

“Cappuccino with double foam.”

“Sweet.”

“Something about me must compensate, also people into black coffee are far often the biggest softies, they just pretend to be cold.”

“Thank you very much. - he chuckled – I'll take a, mh, normal coffee.”

“Then say Americano. To them a normal coffee is espresso.”

“What? Why?”

“To them our coffees are quite tasteless and barbaric. _ Acqua sporca _ .”

“I see.” Robb mumbled.

“So, how does your brother live in Venice?”

“Quite good. He is residing in a pretty nice apartment, sharing it with four guys, but they all went back home for some days.”

“Sounds like a gay heaven to me.”

“I am afraid not, I mean, he seems quite into girls, bossy girls.”

“Bossy as in dominatrix or as in actually a topping lesbian?”

“I am not quite sure. - he admitted, jokingly – He has a bit of problems with mother figures.”

“And the rest of the baseball team?”

“Well... Sansa is quite adorable.”

“The Twilight one?”

“The Twilight one, yes. - he smiled – She's having a crush on a boy, you know, Draco Malfoy type.”

“Spoiled, dark, actually sensitive?”

“I was going more for blond, flat nose, shining too small eyes.”

“I see.”

“Bran... - he took a breath – Bran was angry at me when I left.”

“You fight often?”

“No... no, he is just angry at me because I barely spent time with him lately, but it's a bit hard... I... - he stared into Theon's light eyes and then avoided them, suddenly vulnerable – I feel guilty.”

“Guilty?”  
“He fell from an old wall, he... he is on a wheelchair. - he breathed out – I was supposed to take care of him, but... I don't even remember why I didn't. I guess going to the movies with Jon seemed funnier.”

“Kids fall and hurt all the time, just because he became a cripple doesn't mean you were a shitty brother. - he mumbled, harsh, but honest, there was a weird deformed form of kindness in his bluntness, one that Robb never knew before – He had bad luck.”

“I guess this is how it looks like from the outside.”

“This is how it is. It's from the inside that it can feel different from what it is, not the opposite.” he stated, firmly.

Robb grunted something then drank a bit. The warmth was bitter and lasted just a moment before disappearing.

“Then there's Arya. - he shook his head – She is a tomboy, she wanted to come too... she misses Jon more than everyone else and so does he. - he took a pause – Rick... he is a sprout, but I feel like he'll be the greatest of us somehow.”

“Maybe he'll be the Micheal Jackson.”

“Maybe.” he laughed.

“Anyway, you really are quite a number.”

“My dad takes pride in it.”

“Who wouldn't? - Theon shook his head – You seem happy, though.”

“You have brothers too, no?”

“Had, two. They died in a car crash, fired up. I was glad my mom barely remembered their names anyway. - he took a brief moment – My sister, well, she's great, as long as you do not expect her to go out of her way to help you.”

“Is she nice?”

“As all Greyjoys.”

“So now... what's the plan?”

“Paris, Venice, maybe one day Rome. I suck at plans.”

“No Spain?”

“Almeria girls make the finest lovers, but for now I think Spain is way too hot for me.”

“Everything is hotter than Britain, I suppose.”

“Less rainy for sure.”

“Don't you miss home?”

“Not really. Home is a foreign concept to me.”

“Ok but let's say... don't you ever feel like meeting a dear person and going to the movies together?”

“The movies? - he sucked his lips – I don't know, I guess.”

“I mean it like all of the things you can't do by yourself: sharing pop corn, getting comfy on fake velvet chairs, seeing the screen swallow you.”

“You have quite the oral fixation. - he chuckled – But, yeah, sounds endearing.”

“We should try it.”

“Aren't you stubborn about meeting again?”

“How do you know it can't happen? - Robb asked, smiling, Theon seemed to stiffen up but he didn't notice – What I mean is... look, Venice is kind of small, crowded but small, and I'm gonna stay some days and...”

Theon smiled, “You can be surprisingly confident.”

“I want it to happen. - he claimed, fierce – Maybe I could wish upon a star.”

“What a waste...” Theon commented dryly.

Robb laughed as if to him it sounded so ridiculous how to Theon his idea seemed a waste.

“Ok, ok, let's stay you found Aladdin's lamp, what would you ask for?”

“It'd be useless, I can't have what I want.” Theon whispered.

Genies can't kill.

Genies can't make people find happiness.

He couldn't have got rid of Ramsay nor find joy or love.

“Try.”

“Why don't you tell me yours?”

Robb scratched his nape and thought, “For my brothers and sisters to lead happy lives, first off.”

Theon smiled, “Cheesy.”

“No more wars... I know it sounds utopic and idiotic, but... it's just useless bloodbath.”

Theon looked at him with a flirty smirk stained in an unknown tenderness, “That's very miss America of you.”

Robb shrugged his shoulders, satisfied, “Fair.”

“Third one?”

“To find you again, after this train, more well-disposed towards a date.”

Theon fell silent.

He knew Robb was going there, but he felt speechless, his resistances had been blown away by wind. 

That was the thing with Robb: he was honest. Usually, he would have had a snarky answer, a ready come back, one hundred percent sarcasm but... Robb was serious. On all of it, even the world peace thing.

He would have used a wish for him.

And then he knew that for real he should have been very far away from such a pure soul.

He would have only bred disaster and problems. It was always like this: shy boy, play boy, hurt boy, or anything Theon Geyjoy ever was never led to any better than well-packaged, baroquely decorated catastrophes.

He sipped his cappuccino knowing the bitter aftertaste of that realization wouldn't have been hidden by the sugary milk flavour.

The train moved slowly, passing green fields and anonymous cities. 

“Theon?”

“Yes?” he raised his dull grey eyes, meeting Robb's azure springs.

He was dead water, a dark pond and inert marsh. He didn't hold in his heart that nature of the big, magnificent sea he always loved and admired.

There was no glory in him waiting, nothing extraordinary.

He was the cause of his own rotting.

Robb's fingers interlaced with Theon's, drawing a pattern of warmth, bones against flesh, veins resting on skin, tenderness and fear melting. Theon hesitated.

Robb saw something in Theon's eyes since the start: the hesitation, the doubt, the temptation of a foreboding sense of impending happiness crashing his defenses.

He promised himself: never again. Never again meek, never again a freak, never again weak.

Never again.

But Robb was nothing like anything he had before, he was nothing like anything he knew or he promised to go away from. And yet, yet he was afraid, 'cause an open heart is a vulnerable heart and in the soft flesh every hurt strikes already deep and at the roots.

His eyes glanced at Robb's full lips, his trembling Adam's apple, his neck and jaw waiting for a contact. A hot shiver ran through his spine and he moved closer.

“ _ Informiamo i gentili passeggeri che siamo in arrivo alla stazione di Venezia Mestre. Arriveremo a Venezia Santa Lucia entro i prossimi venti minuti. Ci scusiamo ancora per il disagio arrecato. _ ”

Theon stopped and swallowed dryly.

The spell was broken. Midnight came.

Robb looked at him, confused, his heart shimmering naked through his eyes.

“This stop is the second to last... - Theon whispered – We should return to our places, in twenty minutes top we will be to Venice.”

Robb's auburn hair shone in the afternoon sun. There was a sad veil on his face.

Theon stood up, “It was nice meeting you. - he smiled – Kind-hearted boy next door with a knight complex.”

Robb forced himself to seem serene, but he sucked his lips.

While Theon walked to their old car, Robb followed him as one follows a dear memory close to disappearing. Theon's back seemed like those shining blue mountains one could see from far away, standing against a sky, that seemed unreachable and dead and soon to vanish in the pale light.

Theon put together his stuff with a fake smirk, by now Robb could see beyond it, and with a haste that spoke of somebody tempted to fall, to change his mind, like his sister Sansa would, when dieting, walk sometimes faster to avoid looking at a pastry shop window.

There was something flattering in knowing he was Theon's lemon cake.

Something funny.

Something comforting, as for the first time in years, he felt he could have cried.

Wasn't it stupid? They just met. Yet... yet it hurt, in the full, deepest sense of the word. It hurt.

He had the sensation what was escaping from his hands was not just an almost lover, but also a friend... a limb, someone... someone next to him, to fill a void he always felt, even when surrounded by people.

The train left Venezia Mestre, now rushing, probably to avoid making the delay bigger and therefore the tickets refundable, and, at a certain point, they both felt a weird sensation, as if they left earth. Theon furrowed his eyebrows, confused, and stared at Robb a bit as if to ask for a confirm of what he felt.

Theon looked outside the window and he saw cerulean swallowing them up.

The sky seemed to break and inglobe the earth and it took him a moment to understand the tracks were on water as if the train was skating on the sea.

They couldn't see any ground. Just blue, just calm waves melting with the sky.

Light sparkled on the crystalline aqua green surface and for a second they both felt isolated from the whole rest of the universe, blissfully trapped in a different dimension where everything was possible, allowed and only for the two of them.

Time, place, Robb's father, Theon's one, family judgment, Ramsay, nothing existed; no expectations, no limits.

They were free in that moment.

“Venice...” Theon whispered.

“So this is the part in which we say goodbye and I proceed to regret forever not kissing you?”

“Forever is an awful long time to be caught by rue for. - Theon muttered, his eyes falling on Robb's lips, full and parted, and pending from them, needy, as he could feel his heart racing in his chest – You shouldn't let it happen.”

Robb nodded and moved in a swift rush, haste eating his mind. He held Theon's head and kissed him, voraciously, his tongue invading his mouth since the start.

If it had to be both a first and a last kiss, they both planned to make it also an unforgettable one. Theon took control quite soon, slipping into Robb's mouth, tasting it - a strong coffee aftertaste – and, bless years of libertine habits, he made Robb moan, low and dark, while he deepened the kiss, holding his auburn curls and pulling him closer.

Robb's hand rushed on Theon's shoulders, grabbing his waist, feeling how well it fit under his hands, caressing slightly his hips, while Theon smiled, malicious, in the kiss and pinched his ass.

Robb broke the kiss, stuttering something, and Theon had the lewdest smile, licking the bottom of his teeth.

“I'll miss you.” he promised, tenderness kneaded with lust.

“Why are you so afraid? - Robb asked, the corner of his mouth going for a smile, without him realizing – I...”

“I'm not afraid. I just don't believe.”

What he had, what he could keep of it was the open city, blue, shining and magnificent in front of him, light over the sea waves bright as like a desert with the sand glittering in the sun.

“But I don't get why!” Robb burst, unnerved. Why was his chest in pain? Why did he care?

“Don't make it harder.” Theon replied, quickly, without looking at the other in the eyes.

As the voice over them announced the arrival in the station, Theon swallowed and, giving just another furtive glance at Robb's trembling jaw and lips, he grabbed his luggage and rushed to the door of the train.

Robb stayed behind, his hand clenching the fabric strap handle of his rucksack. He could feel his own nails cutting his skin, while he bit his lips, angrily. He was left there, remembering how good he tasted.

No, he didn't get it.

No, he didn't understand any of that.

He pushed the door and exited, looking around for Theon on the platform. He didn't care what he thought: he would have proved him wrong. He had to listen.

As he saw Theon, labouring to pull the black luggage bigger and heavier than him, Robb rushed, feeling the elation running through his veins. He grabbed Theon by the wrist and made him turn – his look passed from shock, as he almost got a heart attack, to an unexplainable deep joy to a sudden, heavily-veiled dread.

Robb's smile and eyes, though, looked so reassuring, so tempted; Theon stuttered an excuse but Robb didn't waver, confidently staring at him.

“Theon, won't you introduce me to your friend?”

As he heard that voice, Theon got petrified. He seemed to have turned into a pillar of salt, frozen to the bone. His eyes widened in mere terror.

Robb turned and met the creepiest smile he ever saw, enough to give him shivers, shining eyes the colour of morning sky and a wicked gleam. He didn't look even angry, almost pleased with the fear he provoked, satisfied.

Theon tried to word something, but he couldn't and Robb noticed how his wrist, still held by his hand, started to shiver.

“What are you doing here?”

The man gave a stinging giggle, “I've come to take you at the station. - he grinned – The owner of the flat you rented seemed very happy to know you have such a caring boyfriend.”

Theon's heart got heavy, it’s heating hard and strenuously tiring.

Robb frowned, squinting his eyes, as he remembered Theon's hopeless voice, his look, distant, dark, cold, as he spoke of his ex.

_It was not his worst flaw._

_ I don't want to be to you what others were to me. _

_Some people are homes, some are cages._

Theon freed himself from his grasp and held his luggage like a mouse ready to take it with him and run away as fast as possible. Robb locked eyes with the man in front of him and said, firmly, “Robb Stark.”

Theon turned towards him as Robb did the stupidest shit imaginable.

“Ramsay Bolton.” the man smirked and held Robb's hand, while throwing at Theon a look that felt like a dagger inside his chest.

He remembered how his eyes sparkled in the moonlight entering from dirty windows of their old flat, how tense he felt, how cold, at just the sight of those eyes when he knew Ramsay was angry.

Nothing scared him as much as his annoyance. Not even his father's disappointment.

Not even death.

“Should we go home now? - Ramsay proposed with a tiny, sharp smile, with edges pointed as cut from paper, his small, pointy teeth showing – I missed you a lot in these months and Asha refused to be... cooperative about it.”

Obviously. His sister was not stupid. And she was not one to let Ramsay fuck with her.

But how did he find out where he was moving then? How did he follow him?

No, even anticipated him.

Theon backed off slowly, almost falling from the platform edge onto the tracks, but he felt a hand – Robb's hand - pushing him back into equilibrium, slightly, just by being there, without force.

“It doesn't seem like a great idea to me. - Robb looked Ramsay in the eyes – Actually, not at all.”

“Shame on me, I didn't precise you were in no way included in this conversation...”

“Theon won't go anywhere he doesn't want to.” Robb was almost roaring.

Ramsay wrinkled his nose, disgusted, “Which authority do you have to just think to intrude like this in other people's business?”

“He defined you an ex, he didn't know you would have been here and he is not happy with the surprise, clearly. - Robb frowned, his voice getting bigger in the cold calm before the storm – This to me seems like a stalking scenario and I am pretty sure it's illegal.”

“He is a grown man. - Ramsay mocked, looking at Theon and making him shudder – He can defend himself on his own, don't you think?”

“He could be even Louis Cyr, I'm not letting you any close to him.”

At that, Theon seemed to awoke, he blinked and straightened his back, turning slowly towards Robb while a soft smile rose on his lips, incredulous.

 

Notes: This took forever, mostly because since I started writing it my job schedule got really dense and then I got an eye inflammation *sighs*. This is the chapter 1 on 2, I hope you liked it and that I managed to keep the IC but I am not confident ahah. Thank you to my girlfriend for the eternal support, to janie_tangerine for the patience and to myself for being stubborn. 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Notes : Aaah, time passed. First of all, thank you so so much for the waiting and for your extremely kind and nice comments. They made me truly happy, you have no idea. So... I hope this part will be nice too! I'm sorry if it's repetitive and... sinful. Quite, quite sinful. Just o say it trigger-warning-wise: they get drunk, they fuck where one person shouldn't absolutely fuck, if you are religious this may be not your best smut option... also mention of violence on Theon but without details. 

* * *

  
  


** Awfully Good **

 

* * *

 

_ Tip toeing along a strand of your hair suspended between _

_ these thoughts and actions miles above reality. _

_ Come look at the scars, smother a heart, opening up... _

_ You open me up... _

\- The Foreboding Sense of Impeding Happiness, H.I.M.

* * *

  
  


** Second part – The Destination **

  
  


And, damned him, if Theon Greyjoy smiling was not the prettiest thing in the world, Robb didn’t know what would have been. It was not even a smirk, finally, but a moved, shy smile, filled with light.

He looked as if he had never expected anything similar to happen, not to him, not any kindness from anyone.

He looked like a deer saved by a hunter and wondering if then for real not all humans held guns.

He shuddered, “Robb, you don't...”

“...have to, I know. I am not doing it out of duty.”

“Then for?”

“Do you two mind?” Ramsay growled, crushing vowels in his mouth.

It was a roar, low and strangled, a filthy slip of anger. He sounded beyond merely wrathful: disrespected. His eyes, small and the colour of dirty ice, stared at Robb with an awful long stubbornness. His nose wrinkled in disgust, his mouth filled with kneaded rage that he plastered in a creepy grin.

Robb raised an eyebrow, confused at that, but behind him he could feel his shirt being pulled with fear, utter fear.

“As you please. - said the man with his fakely nice grin, deformed by how his anger ran through his veins – May I just ask which use do you find in him? Did my sweet Reek already proved himself as a good human toilet?”

“I didn't do-”

“Shut up.” this time the roar came out raw and complete, his face distorted as he yelled, coming undone. Theon sought repair unconsciously as Robb stepped further.

“Even in that case, it's none of your business. - he muttered, firm – Now, go. I am fairly okay also with punching a tooth out of your face, but I'm positive that the ruckus won't be necessary.”

“A tooth? - he mocked – Is that a threat? Oh, Reek, you really didn't tell him anything. - his scrawny face mushed into a smile once again – I am quite disappointed, I expected you to at least introduce me.”

Theon was shaking madly like a leaf lost in the winter winds. He looked skinnier and paler than before, his eyes all out, hollow and watery, his lip quivering in words he couldn't begin to mumble.

Ramsay bowed a bit, tilting his head to the side, eyeing Theon's legs.

“I see you can walk fine now. Can you count to ten?”

Robb seemed confused. He turned and saw Theon bent over, puking on the ground, vomit gushing out of his mouth while with one hand, weakly, he still held onto Robb's shirt.

He bent immediately, worried, holding him and asking what was wrong.

Theon's puke went to black. Bile. He probably hadn’t eaten in a while.

As Ramsay laughed, loud and sharp, in front of him, Robb stopped thinking and threw himself on him, punching his face right in the jaw. The man fell to the ground quickly with a soundless bump.

Theon shivered visibly, shocked, yet elated. A weird euphoria rushed through his veins.

Robb turned to him, letting out a timid crooked smile; he was so bright, Theon felt safe. He didn't even remember when he last did.

It was like if that word lost all meaning to him, but now he found it again. It came back to him, intense and true, unexpected and luminous as the break of dawn.

“Let's get away from here.” Robb suggested, still smiling confident, but with worry for the way people started to turn towards them rising in his voice. Theon nodded automatically, without resistance – That man was like a king and he would have followed him anywhere.

They rushed out of the station, knowing Ramsay would have probably followed them soon. As they exited, though, Theon backed off slightly, dazed and taken by surprise, by the bewildering sight opening up in front of him: everything was shining, white marble glistering under the sun, sea shining and every house painted in light colours. All around, the scents mixed fully and densely: sea, pastry cream, life.

It was beautiful.

It was... there for him to touch. He was free.

He shivered: had that really happened? Did that boy he met that day punch Ramsay in the face? He punched. Ramsay. He fell. Hit the ground and maybe the head, maybe he was hurt, maybe... didn't matter after all.

Ramsay. Hit. Punched.

Defeated maybe?

Robb hit him, for no other reason than protecting him – it didn't make sense. Not to him, at least.

_ But maybe... maybe _ , he thought,  _ for someone with a kind heart, it would _ . And he found himself motionless and thoughtless, empty.

What was he supposed to feel or think? What was he feeling?

Relief and fear were together in his stomach, tangoing over his guts.

He would have liked to speak, to move, to react, but he remained there, remembering every second he felt alone and hopeless, every time he thought Ramsay would have found him. He turned to Robb, who had a serious, dark expression, while studying the surroundings.

_ What a fool, foolish knight boy _ ...

Robb was looking around and, identifying a church, rushed towards it, pulling Theon with him, “Do you plan to invoke the right for asylum?”

“Enter.” he said, firmly.

They rushed in and met a candlelit, wide church and dark statues. All around, paintings, beautiful ones, Theon frowned and started walking towards what he was sure had been a Titian, but Robb grabbed him closer and asked, counting on the echo to fill the church, “Help!”.

After some moments, a hurried priest came to them, worried, but from his panicked expression Robb guessed English was probably not his forte and turned to Theon, “Could you tell him we have to leave our luggage here due to an emergency with the hospital?”

Theon's jaw dropped, “Do you want to lie to a priest?”

“I thought you more ruthless.”

“I thought you more square.” he sighed, but not without obeying, realizing Robb's plan was not bad at all.

He turned to the priest, a fat man in his late sixties with white hair and a funny pair of round glasses. He spoke quickly and clean, the priest congratulated him on his Italian and told them both they could have come whenever they needed to reclaim their luggage, which he hid behind the altar. He looked a bit frustrated at first, as the request made the house of God a bit of a locker in a gym, but Theon insisted so broken-heartedly and with such a deeply mortified expression that Robb had probably just a few months to live and needed that medical visit, that the priest didn't dare to object.

“I'm impressed.” Robb admitted.

“Thank you, drama club in high school.”

“You're resourceful.”

“Thank you. - Theon winked, smiling – But it was your plan.”

“I guess this makes us a good team, then...”

Theon sucked his lips, smiling, and shook his head. They went out from the back of the church, walking slowly between the roads, Theon looking frequently around at first, but then relaxing slowly as he realized they were not being followed. Robb held his waist.

_ It's silly _ , he thought, as he was left wondering if freedom always tasted so dear and sweet.

He knew it didn't: even before Ramsay, it was sex and solitude. No companionship awaited him.

Robb looked taller now that they were walking next to each other; despite being a couple years younger, he looked really handsome with his broad build.

“How do you feel now?”

“Mostly mortified about the whole scene.”

“It's not your fault, you know?”

Theon blinked, surprised. He swallowed.

“You punched him.”

“Thank you for noticing. - Robb laughed, shaking his hand to say it hurt a bit – I know I was a bit... hot-headed, it's just...”

“You punched him.” Theon repeated, his glance leaving Robb and losing itself in the void.

Robb frowned, “I hope this makes you kind of aroused.”

“Kind of.” Theon admitted, tilting his head, then smirked and looked again at the other.

“Maybe, umh, we should fill your stomach a bit. - Robb mumbled – You puked your soul out before.”

Theon squinted his eyes, “Is this a way to say my soul is jet black?”

“...no, it was a way to say you puked until the end of your stomach.”

He sighed dramatically, “It seemed too beautiful for you to become a little sarcastic ass.”

“That's your role, I'm afraid.” he reassured him, closing his eyes, while walking, and smiling.

“Then what's yours?”

“Depends, can I pick or do I still have to play solely by your rules?”

“I love my rules. - Theon grinned then gave a diva sigh and looked at Robb – I'm so wasted on this un-aristocratic way of life.”

Robb held him more, smiling, looking around for a place to eat in, unable to stop happiness from rising on his face.

“You hit him!” Theon half-yelled, joyful, he still couldn't believe it.

“I fucking did.” he laughed in relief.

Theon's eyes lingered on Robb's figure, while an inappropriate thought took over him. He sent it away, quickly.

“I should at least buy you lunch, I suppose... - he coughed – Do you have any Italian dishes you’ve always wanted to try?”

“Ah... - Robb seemed to flush, embarrassed, scratching his nape – There was... something.”

Theon frowned, “Like?”

“You know... - he gave a nervous laugh, looking away – Those meatball pasta things.”

Theon seemed horrified and sorry as, trying to hide his highest disgust, mumbled, “I'm afraid that's an italo-american thing.”

“Oh.”

Robb looked down as if his world had just been crushed. His huge blue eyes looked so sad that Theon was sure a puppy wouldn't have been more convincing.

“I can cook them for you once if you want...”

“You can cook?”

“If you lived with my sister, you'd soon discover the true meaning of food poisoning. - he looked away – Well, not that my father ever even tried to cook, at least I have to acknowledge that Asha didn’t live off of frozen pizzas and beer.”

“So you sort of had to learn?”

“You didn't?”

“My mother took great pride in her cooking and my sister thought for years that being a housewife would have been the best thing in the universe, so it was not strictly needed. I know how to prepare eggs sunny side up, though.”

“Impressive.”

“So... you can speak more languages than I can remember, you can cook... other skills I should be informed about?”

“I am great at oral, if that's what you were going for.” he said, blank faced.

Robb stuttered, mouthed something and then stiffed, half-yelling, “I think I saw a restaurant there, c'mon, let's go.”

Theon's lips curled.  _ Cute _ .

“So... how come meatball spaghetti, if I may?”

“Promise not to mock me?”

“Absolutely no.”

Robb sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling, as if bothered, when in fact he was rather amused, “It was just... a childhood thing, I guess.”

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Lady and the Tramp.”

Robb's face whitened in horror, his eyes widening, while his voice got all crumpled, acute as he quickly denied it, “Ah, me? No, nope, I mean, that would be... really, I mean, Sansa liked that movie... I...”

“You sappy dork. - Theon smiled, entering into the restaurant – I'll cook them for you, but I refuse to do that thing with the spaghetto suspended between mouths. Sounds like the quickest way of staining your shirt.”

“I was not going t-”

Theon pulled him in and looked at him, confident, with a naughty smirk, “C'mon, you won the dinner you wished for.”

Robb's eyes shone at the thought.

They sat and spoke, again, aimlessly and restlessly, like children discovering a new toy. Theon explained to Robb why the Nouvelle Vague was the best thing ever and why Death in Venice was the most intense and most selfish story, Robb enlightened Theon about his family more, about his huge Czechoslovakian Wolfdog and mountains and the times they used to hike and about how he felt like a fairytale king looking down those mountains.

Theon would smirk and joke, Robb would laugh and shake his head. Their eyes would meet and time would become 'theirs', marked by smiles and wishes. From time to time, Robb would have wanted to kiss Theon, but the crowd, the food, anything seemed to make him miss the occasion again and again.

He caressed the idea, he imagined sinking his teeth in Theon's soft deer neck.

And shield him from everything. That creepy man would have never touched him again, he promised himself while strangling a fork.

The Theon who was smiling and laughing and making sexual jokes, the Theon that opened up about literature and tales, the Theon who was seductive and proud... he didn't want to see him disappear anymore behind that scared puking ghost.

Not because he didn't want him when he was vulnerable, every man was, but... that pure, mere, utter fear he read on his face broke his heart in two like the axe of a butcher cutting it.

Theon frowned, seeing him bothered, and stared at him a whole long minute at the end of their lunch, before going to pay and then, coming back, finding him in that same state.

“Should I be informed about your possible narcoleptic attacks?”

Robb started, “Eh?”

“One of the few things I am confident about, Stark, is my ability to entertain, don't make me doubt it.” he winked.

“Sorry, I was overthinking...”

“Well, at least, I'm not the only one with this dreadful habit.” he claimed, smiling seductively and going out of the restaurant, until the other followed out of the door and the pulled him close, a bit too close.

“What he said about you being a slut or ...”

His jaw tensed, defensive, “What?”

Theon's knuckles went white against his throbbing chest.

“I don't care. - he said, firmly – That's not what you are to me.”

“Then what am I to you? - Theon's pitch wanted to sound mocking but shattered in a betrayed fragility – A wishful thinking met on the train?”

Robb raised an eyebrow, cocky, “I thought you knew your own name.”

Theon frowned, interrogative, at him. The other man smiled, held him tighter, the grip on his arm as safe and strong as if he never meant to let him go.

“You're Theon to me.”

As he clenched his fist against Robb's skin, Theon felt everything in the world disappearing, leaving them alone. Curtains fell, the scene was hidden and their eyes met.

Robb's hair shone beneath the light.

They seemed to burn in copper and Theon wished for that fire to envelope him too.

To die burning of Robb sounded so sweet, so awfully fulfilling.

Their lips met, brushed slightly against each other; Robb's hands slightly held Theon's waist and slipped on his hips, while the older man cupped his face between his hands, pulling him closer. He could smell his strong scent: the sweat, the haste, the desire, behind it all his perfume.

As their tongues moved, greedy, as their breaths got broken by hungry kisses and the burning need to fill and be filled, Theon realized he was keeping his eyes closed.  _ What a kid I am _ , he thought, without opening them.

He was a mess.

Robb's tongue tasted still sugary, so sweet it was almost bitter.

He was bent and ruined.

Robb's hands on him felt like beacons promising to ignite his bones.

He was nothing to be liked.

Robb's clench got tighter, pulling him closer, Theon smiled into the kiss, deepening it, letting Robb finally lead it. He was a bit clumsy, but in that tender way Theon never had – he was always eager to become great at sex, so he could strut about it, get proud of it, feeling less... alone, probably. Robb's kiss was as fragile and raw as someone who gave it value he never knew it had.

Feeling that heat almost made his head dizzy.

He was under a rush of a delicious drug: he was smiling, he was not hearing reason, just kissing a guy messily near a well. If that was happiness, Theon couldn't know. He just surrendered his heart and let it open.

Robb smiled at him, sweetly, breaking the kiss, “So, what do you want to do?”

Theon smirked, licking his lips slightly.

“PG or R rated?”

Robb swallowed harshly. His throat went dry in anticipation.

Theon looked like the type of forties movie star, with big eyes and lips opening an abyss of pleasure, an unnatural grace in movements. There was something about the way he smiled that made him look like a ghostly promise of disaster, a beautiful disaster. He was sensual, he was inviting in all the ways – Robb never truly perceived the charm of the bad boy before, he never could have forgotten it after.

He was smouldering.

“Ahm... I think, we won't... have... you know...”

“A place where to fuck?” Theon chuckled, blunt. He enjoyed how shy Robb was, partly because it reminded him of his childhood, partly because it made him look tender, soft to bite into, partly because it was something he never met accompanied with courage and such a knightly moral compass. It was endearing. It was yummy.

Theon raised his eyebrows a bit, then perked his lips slightly, tilting his head, and kissed Robb again, this time slowly, tasting his soft full lips and letting Robb do the same, pulling and biting each other slightly. Robb pulled him close, unable to let go.

It was cold, without Theon close to him, it was awful cold. It always had been.

It was cold when his father slammed a hand on his shoulder, saying how proud he was of the man he was becoming but that he masked behind.

It was cold when his mother smiled at him with that look like he was the only thing that kept her going when she discovered the cheating.

It was cold when his brothers and sisters cried or were sad and ran to him for comfort, but he didn't have anyone to run to. Nobody would see him, he wouldn't let anybody do anyway. If he appeared weak... what kind of big brother would have he been after all? It was cold the whole time, it was cold his whole life.

And then, he met fire.

Theon felt his head spinning slightly, when, suddenly, Robb got more eager, his hands stronger, meaner on his hips, his tongue pressing against the back of his mouth, asking for more.

He felt as if he were melting there, on the streets, Robb's fingers running on his skin through the clothes, he held his auburn curls, caressing them, in a sweet plea to never stop.

The balsamic scent of the sea went to their heads. They felt free, they felt offshore from the whole of humanity.

Robb pushed Theon slightly against the well’s hole, gaining an uncomforted grunt from him.

A couple of girls snickered next to them, one of which while complimenting the view offered by them, and Robb pulled himself back, realizing just then they were in daylight, in public, making out in a street with people passing. Theon muffled a laugh, finding it just adorable how embarrassed the other man got.

“If you want, we may continue, but I guess a kink for exhibitionism would be a needed requirement.”

Robb frowned, as if he were offended, but a smile betrayed his senseless carefree happiness in such a stupid joke.

“Do you want to maybe go drink something?”

“I've got a better plan.” he promised, pulling Robb's arm and forcing him to follow.

Now, it’s not that Robb didn't trust Theon's sense of orientation, but that city was a maze of buildings and water, a true labyrinth and multiple bad choices would have lead you right into the canals, so he felt a bit powerless leaving full control of the situation to the other, but the expression on Theon’s face which was finally joyful made him feel he could let go of it, for once.

He didn't need to control everything; he didn't need to protect everyone.

Theon smiled when they reached an arch, behind which it seemed like a big light was coming from. He seemed so proud, Robb felt confused and walked slowly towards the arch, finding himself in the open square of Saint Mark, bathed in pure light, showered in glistering simmering drops of sun on the marble and gold. The surface was slightly wet, maybe they had had a high tide recently, he thought, and everything seemed made of pearls.

Theon didn't leave him time to stop and contemplate and pulled more, next to the bell tower, beyond it, and then showed Robb the sea: whole, open, gorgeous.

Sun started to get tender with tiredness, the sky stained in its soft pink.

Robb blinked and walked slowly towards the border, watched by an extremely proud Theon Greyjoy.

“So, how is it?”

“Beautiful.” Robb admitted.

“Does it stink like sewer?”

“Not at all. - Robb filled his lungs with the brisk scent of salt – I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“You’ve lived on an island all your life and you’ve never met the wide sea in front of you?”

Breeze shook Theon's hair. They were dark like the waves, his handsome face and a grin rising again completely. The scared boy bent on his skinny bones went to sleep.

Robb smiled, staring directly in his greyish eyes.

“No. Never.”

“Very funny.” Theon mocked, a faint shade of grin on his lips.

The wind messed with his hair more, forcing him to close his eyes a bit, while he stared at the horizon, trying to catch a glimpse of a figure, darker in the azure and the pink.

“There are islands there, you know?”

“Why don't we go there?” Robb proposed, confident.

“It's late by now...”

“Then tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“What about tomorrow? - he smiled – You already failed your decision to never see each other after the train, I kind of like you and I'll take a wild guess you like me too...”

“Very wild.”

Robb came closer, moving Theon's hair behind his ear, “What's the point in not making plans? What's the point in not trying?”

Theon took a moment to breathe before breathing out just a trembling “...he-”

“He can't do anything anymore. - Robb promised – You don't need to return to that apartment alone, we'll go together, get your money from the renter and then find you another place.”

“And then we will meet Ramsay and he...”

“And he what?”

“He'll... he'll the usual.”

“What's the usual?” Robb insisted, coming closer, closing Theon's runaways.

The other man shook his head, looked away, closed his eyes, tried to send away the thought. His hands trembled.

He caught back a gulp, while a gleam broke in his eyes.

_ Weak, freak, bleak, meek, reek _ . He shivered in horror. Winter caught him back again and so the smile on his face washed away, bleached, and he stayed there – his hollow out wide open.

He could barely feel Robb's hand on his skin.

All of a sudden, everything was numb.

“Theon?”

His voice sounded so round and dark, but of a darkness that brings comfort more than distress, like the caress of the night. He could have maybe learned to rest in those arms, to that voice. Would have he dreamed of Ramsay's grim grin, piercing the veil of sleep, bright and shining like the glass of a bottle under the moonlight.

“Theon.” Robb called again.

“Can we... can we sit somewhere?”

“Sure, it's full of bars here...”

“Do you want to pay for one coffee like you’re paying for ten? - Theon seemed amused by that knightly recklessness - Let's move a bit further from the main tourist square.”

“So you will exit the mood of opening up?” Robb caught him, smiled and held him by the waist, pulling closer.

“How eager to know what hides behind the mess. Did you always skip to the last day of the advent calendar, filling your mouth with chocolate?”

“I... I followed the rules, as one would expect.”

Theon smirked, raising his eyebrows, “Really?”

“I stuffed my mouth with chocolate bought with my allowance, though.”

Theon laughed and Robb kissed him again, running his fingers in his soft hair, panting into his mouth. Theon shivered realizing how hard it was to be separated from one another.

Robb's tongue was warm and big, filling his mouth to the brink, leaving him eager to have something thicker into it. God, he remembered when he was handsome, when he was flirty and had any girl or boy soon in his bed after a couple of winks and quick chit-chats.

Now he felt so weak and skinny and ugly that the thought of being with Robb in a bed was as terrifying as thrilling and as sweet as horrifying.

He welcomed Robb's mouth in his own, his warmth that broke the chains of coldness. His fingers interlocked behind Robb's neck, while his hands held Theon closer by the loins.

_ And if God exists, and if he is clement and kind _ , Theon thought,  _ he'd kill me now and here. And won't let it to be trailed and dragged to ashes and killed as everything I touch or love. _

But God didn't come. And Theon didn't know if it was because he didn't exist or because every father he was supposed to always take little to no care of his pleas or if, maybe, could he hope?, for once his prayers were foolish.

A tear rolled from his eye, but Robb didn't notice it. His breath got thicker, denser, he seemed to be struggling to stop and calm down.

Wind shook his auburn curls and brought them what felt as rain against their cheeks.

“Forget the coffee, I need a beer.”

“You shall have both. - Robb whistled, shaking his head – It's freezing now, how didn't I notice before?”

When they turned to the sea again, Theon noticed that the sun had descended. The sunset set the water on fire, the coldest red and the warmest violet surrounded everything.

He was red too and so Robb. The dying light of the day gave them a last look before throwing them in the shadows.

Robb found a small place and they sat. It was dim and foggy inside with smoke. They knew law forbid it, but probably the owner cared very little and they were not going to complain. Theon smoked too and Robb felt his groin needing those lips to blow something else the same scorching way. He tried to distract himself sending a couple of messages to Jon to tell him he was going to be late and that he was very sorry, he even wrote it to his mom to try to calm down, but he couldn’t stop his mind from tricking him into the most hypnotic, red thoughts.

Theon was just so beautiful, Robb could barely even metabolize it. He sure looked tired, malnourished almost, but there was something beyond shining- the strong cheekbones, the deep eyes, the face cut and sharp as a knife, the fleshy lips, the hair, the whole body he had, it seemed to be made for sex. He never considered himself easily caught by lust.

But Theon looked just like every beautiful thing in the world, every detail, collected in one thing. He couldn't explain it easily, he was bad with words, but it was in his corners and angles, in the shape of his veins and bones, they looked so graceful, pretty – they were strong, not soft as a women's body, not as round, but instead sharp. He felt driven to those, eagerly, deeply. He wanted to feel Theon's neck under his teeth, he wanted to hold his hands, pinning him down, he wanted to sink his hands in his iliac crest while thrusting between his hips.

“Do you see anything on my right hand?”

Robb stared at it before replying, “No... I mean, it's a nice hand, but...”

“Pianist hand, right? Very long, skinny fingers. - Theon couldn't bear himself to look at them and sank his glances in the beer – I was an archer. Nothing... nothing big, you know, I... was studying languages and literature, but I couldn't give it up somehow.”

“Competitions?”

“Many... I was great. - he admitted, bitter – But it's not about that, it never was, even if... for some faint moment, it made me proud, just like sex, you know... it makes you feel good when you can actually do something, for a change. - his voice got weak – I... felt free, somehow. - he gulped, sour, his voice hoarser, his glances still escaping Robb's eyes – When I was a child, my mom used to read me stories of knights and elves... old songs, epic stuff, mythology...”

Robb nodded and Theon felt as if he were sinking. He drank more.

“You know, usual stuff, Bard, Beleg, Apollo... Robin Hood... - his crooked smile went fragile, his voice faint – I always felt for a moment as if I were more than Theon Greyjoy the disappointing homosexual son that broke his father's heart and never gained his respect. - he swallowed – Even when my... when stuff went worse.”

“Why did you stop?” he asked, frowning.

Theon breathed in.

“He was always a... passionate guy. - he muttered, taking his time to weight each word, as it clacked against his palate – He was... not the most beautiful, but he had a way with me. I felt as if... well, it was just sex, at first. I didn't want more, it was... it was kind of a shitty year of a shitty decade of a shitty life. He... - Theon frowned – He reminded me of my dad, I guess.”

Robb clenched his fist under the table, trying to appear calm, while his jaw tensed.

“He became possessive and I... I hated it, but I hated myself more. - his voice limped – I think there was a part of me who felt I deserved being like that... or that felt comfortable with it. Sounds crazy saying that all the love I didn't feel and the silence that came with it... sorry sounds like such bullshit, but... I am not sure why I felt it was nothing new. - he gulped a big sip of golden beer, Robb listened quietly, his heart drumming – One night, I... I flirted with a girl. He pulled me home and threw me on the bed. He was always a bit rough, whether he topped or bottomed, and bossy, quite. But... - he shivered, his eyes seemed watery – He was drunk and ...and angry. He broke a bottle, slamming it on my hand. He kicked it, stepped on it, then stabbed my hand and the forearm with the bottle. - a sick laugh – But it was not... the last of his games.”

Robb stared at him, without speaking.

His eyes were wide open, horrified. He remembered the smirk of the guy, that sick gleam, that look as if he found it so funny how he threatened him.

_ A tooth? Is that a threat? _

_ Oh, you didn't tell him anything. _

_ I see you can walk fine now. _

The sound of Theon's puke echoed in his head, loud as the chiming roars of a wounded bear. The din filled his mind and became a shriek and a cry.

That son of a bitch...

He didn't dare to speak yet, though, biting his lips, waiting for Theon to finish, but the other was labouring to breathe, covering his mouth, his Adam's apple jumping in his throat. He was flushed, probably in shame.

Robb looked at him and moved forward, putting his hand on Theon's one and holding it.

Theon gave a start, shaken. His eyes nailed on Robb's, as the auburn-haired boy entwined their fingers. His hand felt warm.

_ Home _ . Home didn't mean anything though, right?

Theon snickered, his voice hoarse and moved, he raised his eyebrows, “You do realize you're touching my hand, right?”

Robb was about to reply a firm, strong, passionate “yes”, when his face got pale, all the colour draining out of it.

“Oh... oh shit. - he moved the hand away and looked down as if he could have broken Theon's one – I, I am... fuck, fuck I'm sorry, that was so awkw...”

Theon interrupted him pulling him closer by the curls and kissing him passionately. He was half-laying on the table and his shirt was probably going to get dirty but he didn't care, he didn't give a damn.

Robb tasted like beer and love, Robb tasted like everything sweet he had never had. He smiled into the kiss.

“Doesn't hurt anymore. - he whispered, breaking it slightly, on the edge of their mouths – Doesn't... it doesn't.”

Robb held that hand back, keeping it in his own. He kissed Theon again and could feel the rage run away from his body.

And Theon felt fear disappearing, slowly, like a tide falling into the womb of the ocean.

Their foreheads touched, Robb smiled, “Islands tomorrow?”

“You're already thinking about tomorrow?” Theon snickered.

“Of course, what should I think about?”

“Tonight.” he murmured into Robb's ear, making him stiff from the shoulders down like a violin chord.

He took elation in it, tasting the delicious embarrassment staining Robb's face up to his freckled ears. Robb hid his face in the beer. Theon felt the leftover warmth on his hand reaching his heart.

They went on drinking for a couple of beers more; Robb due to the tension rising at the ideas that kept knocking on his head, Theon out of a mixed feeling of desire and the need to forget, to relax and not to be bothered by memories.

Starting to live again was more pleasant and more difficult than he had thought.

Rain cornered them in the pub until the man asked them to leave and, outside, between the cold wind and the freezing icy water, they didn't seem bothered at all by anything around them. The rain made Theon's white shirt almost transparent, which didn't escape Robb's attention, but neither did the way his black shirt got attached to his shoulders and chest Theon's.

One bit his bottom lip to keep his cool, the other tried to cough the awkwardness away. They decided to move towards the church to get their luggage back before midnight – well, they remembered just because Theon apparently really immensely needed to not sleep in dirty clothes and commando was not an option with that wolf’s cold. They rushed running under balconies and roofs, searching for repair and trying to reduce the amount of rain they'd get covered in to a minimum.

The inconvenience became sort of funny, as Robb almost fell in a canal, too tipsy to move both quickly and carefully and Theon started to laugh and kept to until they reached the church, with tears in his eyes and his stomach pulsing.

“Glad you found my defeat amusing...” Robb smacked, hiding a smile.

“I'm sorry, it's just you had such a cute expression, like a betrayed puppy.”

“Well, the ground attacked me mercilessly, excuse you.”

“How cruel of it.”

“Truly.” Robb replied slowly, his eyes lingering, nailed, on Theon's lips.

Theon bit them, noticing, sucking them slightly, uncertain and torn.

“I... I know this sounds really vulgar, but... - he swallowed – Making out is kind of not all I'm thinking about right now.”

“You're drunk.”

“You too.” Robb laughed.

Theon looked at the ceiling, trying to find something that could have sounded like a proper reply, “We won't find a hotel with this rain and this late...”

“We can go to my brother.”

“Hi, bro, missed you a bunch in this year we didn't meet, by the way, leave the apartment, gotta fuck the bum of this guy?”

“Sort of. - Robb nodded – He'd get offended and sad, but he would with everything.”

Theon blinked, “Did you just say something mean? - he smirked – So I just need to get you wasted to see the little bitch rise.”

“Language, we're in a church.”

“Language is not the biggest offence I'd do to these walls, knight boy.”

Robb swallowed a bit, looked around, trying to forget what Theon had clearly implied, what he also wouldn't have minded. Sure, a church seemed a bit of a terrible idea, but the nave was dimly-lit by tired old candles, barely even shining, and there was nobody and the city was submerged in rain and silence. A strong, musky scent of incense filled the space.

He found himself walking towards the altar, where their luggage was hidden by the kind priest as he tried to remember how his mother insisted for him to be baptized and receive his holy communion.

His breath got heavy with need and he realized Theon was close to him, bent on the stairs, checking if everything was still in its place in the suitcase.

Robb could distinctly see part of his hips, naked due to the position and how he pulled the shirt by bowing, the rest of the chest was pretty visible through the wet fabric. The stripes of gold alternating with the, by then transparent, rest made him look like an adorned angel.

His hair was drenched, but Robb somehow found it even more tempting, arousing.

He thought churches were supposed to be moist and cold but he could feel his blood boil in his veins, condense in his crotch and making it hard to speak. He swallowed.

“You stare a lot at your food before eating.” Theon commented. His voice was husky, hoarse, low and dark and drenched in desire.

Robb raised his eyes, looking into the other's.

“I want you.”

Theon didn't flinch, “I want you too. - he sighed – But I'm not confident about what we should do about it.”

“How bad would it be to do it here...?”

“Pretty bad.”

“On the scale of one to ten?”

“Hell.”

“I'm already going, I'm gay.”

Theon snickered; his smile was pointy and sweet. Robb sucked his lips, frustrated.

“You don't look like you care about this type of stuff, so umh...”

“I don't. - Theon corrected him – You do. - Robb gave him a questioning look – You are the law-abiding Irish boy. I am the reckless Scottish manwhore, remember?”

“Then why are you...?”

“Stopping you from doing something you'd feel guilty about for ten years? I am not sure, I suppose that's the minimum human decency I've left.”

Robb burst, unnerved, “I want to fuck you, I don't care about the four evangelists right now.”

Theon blinked, shocked, “Did you just say that out loud?”

Robb looked embarrassed, his eyes a bit shiny with shame, “Sorry, I'm kind of horny and drunk.”

Theon's eyes shimmered lustfully.

He gave a quick look around and then pushed Robb to the wall and bowed between his legs.

“Wha-”

“I'm horny and drunk too. - he smirked, placing kisses on the crotch of Robb's wet jeans – Now, shut up, will you? and be a good boy.”

Robb wished that didn't aroused him as much as it did and closed his eyes- Theon's lips were against the fabric, he could feel the slight pressure growing bold, as he pulled down his trousers and started kissing his briefs – already drenched, already too tight – and lick the staff through the thin cotton. Robb sucked his lips, eyebrows rising, his breath caught in an irregular rhythm of arousal.

Theon worked his way slowly, making him hard before even pulling his boxers down. He could feel the tongue teasing his barely constricted erection, his hand caressing the balls ruthlessly delicately.

He let out a frustrated moan, “Take them off, c'mon...”

“I told you on the train, I recall. - he smirked – You're spoiled.”

With a strong movement, he pulled the briefs completely down and raised an eyebrow. Robb flushed red.

“I-it's a bit cold here...”

“If this is when it's cold, remind me to never blow you when it's warm or you'd choke me.”

Robb seemed more embarrassed, but Theon didn't leave him the time to complain or deny himself. If there was one thing he was good at that still remained, it was sex; and he intended to do it well, wildly and willingly since it hadn’t happened in such a long time, he, after all, was not sure he remembered. How was it to crave for someone to touch you? How was it to not be afraid of their hands on your flesh?

He took the shaft in his hands and started to pump it to complete hardness, finding a little pleasure in how Robb put a fist in front of his mouth not to let the moans grow louder and louder. The incense was almost making him dizzy, or maybe it was the alcohol, not that he cared.

He started by sucking Robb's balls, slowly, passing the tongue on their soft skin and then taking them in. Robb gasped, searched for air, feeling how hot Theon's mouth was.

He could have melted there. It felt so hot and good.

He suffocated a whine, when the other separated and, still pumping his dick even though slowly, started to lick its length, passing his tongue on the whole shaft, torturing the crown of his cock by stopping right before the tip.

Robb's lips went bruised, while he ordered himself to keep some control.

He tensed. Urgency rushing electric through his spine, heat pooling in his groin.

“Theon, please...” he strangled the words with need.

With a chuckle, the other proceeded in his extremely slow procedure, following the veins on Robb's cock obediently, devotedly, passing his teeth just slightly on the shaft, and then, finally, passing his warm, wet tongue over Robb's aching head.

He arched, clenching his fists, moving his hips slightly without even noticing. Theon chuckled again and with a mocking “Eager boy” swallowed the tip, welcoming it in his hot mouth. It felt so soft, incredibly soft.

Robb had a couple of girls, but he barely remembered feeling like that. It all paled in comparison to how hard his dick felt and how soft that mouth was, how warm, how much he just wanted to pull Theon's head against it and bang it.

He held back, painfully, he couldn't nor didn't want to do that during their first time and... fuck, they were in a church, well, that would have been a weird story to tel- Theon started to suck harder, voraciously, with a lustful sparkle in his eyes, pumping Robb's erection and then, slowly, deep throating it whole.

Robb raised his eyes to the ceiling. Normally, meeting the image of God would have been off-putting but, damn, then it just felt appropriate to be seeing heaven. He mouthed a lewd moan, then bit his lips.

He found himself stroking Theon's hair, first gently, then pulling slightly, tugging it gently and firmly like one would with a horse. He truly looked like an angel, a fallen one, indeed. Well, he would have sold his soul to him in a heartbeat.

Theon's tongue teased again Robb's head, enveloping, rubbing it, and tormenting it slowly, before he took him whole inside his mouth again, bobbing his head up and down on the length. Robb could feel his hips growing tense, his knees powerless. His crotch was pulsating, his cock throbbing inside Theon's sweet mouth, about to burst against that tender tongue or the back of his eager throat.

It felt so hard and tense, like a chord about to twist and break. Theon and him shared a quick look and he could distinguish, even on the lips quite deformed by his cock inside them, a brushed smile of satisfaction and, after that, something similar to a devoted, adoring glance.

Theon closed his eyes, sucked hard, bobbing, fucking his own mouth against Robb's needy erection, until, with a thunderous moan, he came, almost falling as his knees failed him. He held onto a pillar, whispering something, voice reduced to a shaken whisper.

Theon felt Robb going soft inside his mouth and panted, as he let him out. Breathing was getting quite a labour for him too. He cleaned the corner of his lips licking them and swallowed his cum, gaining another incredulous, aroused look from Robb.

“I hate you.” he murmured as if he was about to cry as he realized he was getting hard again.

“Ah-a, love your neighbour.” Theon mocked.

Robb let out a small laugh, “Can...we...?”

“I think our souls are already lost, so... might as well go on. - he smirked, looking at him again, this time enjoying the view slowly – Maybe in a more private space, though.”

Robb's naked body was pale in the moonlight and in the faint candles; he looked almost like a marble statue. Sure, one to provoke sinful thoughts.

He had curls like an angel, but the body of David. Or Goliath, in other parts.

Theon felt extremely glad among all the issues his father had given him, the need to have faith and respect for god didn't pop up, because he was sure his imagination was walking on extremely unorthodox roads.

Robb smiled to him, “Well, like?”

“A chapel, perhaps.” Theon suggested, looking around.

He moved to a small offerings’ altar, which had many long white candles and on which a piece of paper informed them that for one light they had to make an offer. 

Theon took out some money from his wallet and put it in, enough for the bother of both keeping their luggages and… well, the rest. 

“Now… what I need is... - he moved to the tabernacle behind the altar and looked around until he found a small bottle of wine hidden behind the altar and then – Here they are!” he said, raising three small bottles.

“What are those?”

“ So...  _ crisma _ , _ infermi _ or  _ catacumeni _ ? - he mumbled – Well, I admit _ infermi  _ would seem to me a bit like throwing shade over it, it's a bit too dark, don't you agree?”

Robb raised an eyebrow, “Is that sacred oil?”

“If you asked Italians, to them the only sacred oil is extravirgin olive.”

“Do we need it?”

“ We're not gonna put that fucking piece of wood up my poor ass without something. - he opened the bottle of wine and gulped down another long sip, then claimed –  _ Catacumeni _ . Symbolism is my kind of shit.”

Robb tried to object but before he could, Theon grabbed him by the collar of the shirt and pulled him in one of the chapels next to the altar, the darkest one and sat on the altar inside it, smiling to him seductively. He didn't have the willpower to deny that to himself.

He closed his eyes and descended on Theon's mouth, starting to kiss him wildly, passionately, their eager lips craving each other, their breath shattered by heat and lust.

Theon smiled in the kiss, sinking in an urge to live, to breathe, drowning in happiness he forgot and found again. In that intimate darkness for two, the world was illuminated.

Robb started to undress Theon, letting the wet silk of the shirt run down from the body, showing the tender flesh, the lean frame, skin shivering out of arousal.

He caressed the visible ribcage – anger about to mount him again remembering – and kissed it. Theon laughed, tickled, then arched his back, inviting Robb to not stop. He moved his hips slowly, up and down, rubbing them against his groin, until the red-haired lowered his trousers and briefs, exposing his erection to the moonlight filtering from the glass-stained windows too. Theon's skin looked fragile, almost evanescent stained by the blue and the green of the painted colours.

He kissed him and bowed a bit, trying to take away his pants and socks completely, but Theon shuddered and moved harshly, “No.” he murmured, panicky, almost in a breathless cry.

Robb frowned, “...Is something not okay?”

“Leave the socks on.” he asked. It sounded like a plea and Robb obeyed without asking.

He guessed enough and, instead of moving away, he went further, throwing the trousers away and then sinking again into Theon's arms, hugging him and keeping him close while covering his collarbones and neck in slow kisses, marking him by sucking until the skin went rich purple and his moans acuter and wetter in a heated need.

Theon's breath was hot against his skin, despite him trembling in Robb's grasp.

“I'll go slow, okay?”

“If you will, I'll kill you.”

“... eloquent.”

Robb took Theon's hips between his hands, raising him slightly and started to kiss his stomach, it was soft despite being so small, the bones sticking out. He wished he hadn’t imagined how it had happened. He kissed them and Theon suffocated a little groan, curling up his fingers against Robb's back.

Robb's tongue dove between his thighs, caressing the softer inner skin, tempting the muscles. He tried to keep delicate, to not move Theon abruptly – both out of fear to break him and due to the marble surface – but still opened his legs wide and proceeded to suck his flesh, making him shudder and shiver, back arching at every touch, feet curling and pleading; then he took one of Theon's legs on his shoulder, holding it with the left hand, kissing the ankle, the calve.

Theon handed him the oil bottle, smiling, “I might need you to accelerate the preparation...”

His voice limped in desire and Robb smiled, hiding his proud expression in Theon's knee, sucking its inner part, where the soft skin bent gently. Theon shouted a moan into his palms, moving his hips more against Robb and arching his legs.

At that, Robb continued, sucking harder, biting gently near the knee, enjoying the way Theon shivered against him, unable to lie or hide all the sparks of pleasure that made him weak and ecstatic.

Without stopping, he poured some oil on his right hand and on his fingertips.

He kissed Theon's knee, sucking it, while inserting the one of them slowly inside him. Theon groaned, pleasantly struck, feeling the intrusion gently taking space inside him.

Robb swallowed, trying to resist the urge to already take it out and substitute it with his erection, again paining him. He started moving, first in and out and then twirling, twisting it, staring at Theon's reaction: how he moved against it, how he bent his stomach, imitating the riding movement. He was magnetic, mesmerizing.

Robb prayed for his turn to arrive soon and, impatient, left Theon's knee to direct his attention again to the thighs, he bent between them and started to jerk the lover's shaft, while adding one more finger inside him, before slowly, then, with anger, eagerness, need, faster and faster, pushing deeper at every thrust, until Theon's broken breaths grew in a slag moan dense in frustration. Need for more, way more.

Theon sank his nails into Robb's skin, making him grunt, groan – harder and needier.

He pushed the third finger inside Theon and started scissoring the hole to loosen him. He bent them gently, caressing the soft walls, trying to see where he liked it more, which point would have drove him to madness. He moved in and out, strongly, almost as if he forgot both the other’s fragility and the marble floor.

Theon moaned, a smile rising on his lips every time that Robb grew harsher or quicker in his thrusts. “Yes”s rolled out of his mouth, one after the other, melted, smouldering and burning, filled with carnal need, as Robb found his prostate and started rubbing against it, making him squirm and come undone under his touch.

Theon couldn't help but feel empty. Every movement was still not enough, not deep or thick enough, his walls begged for more, while sparks of pleasure rose on his cock, throbbing against Robb's.

“Enter...” he rattled out, chocked by his own moans, eyes rolling back and up, to the big window. There was a full moon.

He shivered; the sweat on Robb's body sparkled dimly in the dark blue they shared.

Robb bowed for a kiss, trapped Theon's lips in his own, and, slowly, took away the fingers and entered. Theon's nails dug into Robb's back, making him thrust completely, at once, with a strong stroke. Theon arched his back and scooted forward with a muffled moan.

Theon felt so tight around him, tense, hotter than hell itself. Robb could feel his cock struggling to move deeper, feeling the most pleasant grasp keeping him in.

“Relax...” he whispered, gently, caressing Theon's hair.

“You make it sound quite easy...” he panted.

Damn it. Theon felt stretched, open, almost torn – and it should have hurt, oh, it should have, but it just felt so good... his flesh tensed, the thick, huge, mass pulling him.

“Can I move?”

“Please do.”

Robb moved further, pushing, and Theon's eyes lolled back as he could feel his whole spine set on the most delightful fire. Robb thrust into him, trying and failing to control his strength, pushing always more abruptly than he may have wanted to but enough to make Theon press his hands on his mouth, suffocating lewd moans.

Robb's head started to rock into him, slamming against his prostate relentlessly, hitting it fiercely and making Theon shake to the core, his resistance coming undone in a pool of pleasure.

Theon struggled to breath, holding onto the other, grabbing his neck and hiding his moans inside Robb's mouth in a messy, sloppy kiss.

Theon writhed, feeling his erection painfully needing more, and yet finding a weird pleasure in how close to the edge he was and how he could keep building it. Every inch of him felt extremely sensitive and needy, burning in lust at every single touch.

Robb slammed back into him, right before going deeper and deeper as if he had to break him to ashes, Theon arched his back on the small altar, moving his hips against Robb. He could feel his thickness filling every part of him, his head grazing against his sweet spot, hitting it, pushing him beyond control.

He was so aroused, it was almost painful, he could feel all of his muscles tensing and squirming, waiting for completion, his cock leaking and Robb so deep inside of him that he lost the true perception of where he ended and the other started. It was just them.

Heat soared through his flesh, it rode his veins and nerves, at every maddening press against his prostate. His kiss got clumsier, he let out desperate moans into Robb's mouth, while the other pressed on his hips, almost bruising them – and yet, he felt so wanted, so different from... - pushing in.

Theon's flesh felt almost raw, so good and full, Robb was overwhelmed. Theon let out his tongue, voice unravelled in lustful nonsense. Robb caught his mouth again, pressed and kept bucketing, faster and stronger, until, with a last growl, he fucked him at his earnest, ejaculating with a low growl.

Heat tugged Theon's guts and he let go, finally, staining Robb's stomach with his thick cum and welcoming Robb's inside him.

Robb looked into Theon's eyes, panting, smiling from ear to ear, as if the other man was the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

“We're so going to hell.”

Theon snickered, because he saw hell and a hell without Ramsay couldn't scare him anymore.

“For a taste of heaven, it's worth it.” he granted, kissing Robb's full lips.

They drank more of the wine, dressed and took their suitcases, leaving the church with a certain embarrassment rising in their cheeks, but with alcohol to wash away the worst part of the shame.

It was two am when they stepped out, lazily walking across bridges painted in blue shining under the moonlight. Robb looked tipsy, but the chilly breeze made him smile, bringing away the lazy tiredness of the alcohol. Theon smirked, from time to time still drinking the wine of the church.

Robb figured they’d arrive at Jon's apartment and spend their night there, sleeping on the couch, but, out of drunkenness, maybe from the need to be alone longer, maybe the fact Theon's skinny hands were so soft against his own, he took the longer road, they walked on the side of the sea, contemplating its open embrace to the city.

Theon was contemplating it, blinking slowly, breathing the balsamic scent fully in his lungs.

Robb swallowed nervously, not sure how to express what he was feeling – dizzy, fuzzy, a weird form of joy. He could just feel the tip of his tongue sting and burn with need to speak, to let Theon know, at least.

“It's not that just because the only sea you knew is cold all are like that...”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You need the sea, you want it, you feel nauseated without it... this is sea, it's warm and nice and kind. It's not the sea you knew but... it...”

Theon turned towards it, observing the waves.

Warm sea was something he knew existed, sure. In fact, cold sea was less common and, yet, that's all he had ever experienced and all he had ever considered true up until then.

His lips parted.

A warm sea.

He bent on, finding Robb's lips under his own, meeting a glimpse of that outrageous beauty and he caught it in his own mouth, eagerly, voraciously.

There was that part of Robb that made him feel wild, reckless and constantly on the verge of a disaster. And home.

Could storms be kind? Could a ferocious feeling be so gentle? While his mind wondered still, his heart gave up on it, melting in those lips, eyes closed, in the fairy tale kiss he couldn't think he could ever have.

The sound of the waves sang to them, while, holding each other tight, they started walking through the night.

As he heard the door, he hoped it to be a joke. He thought about pretending not to hear it, because that had to be one of the worst nights of his life: the dishwasher broke, Ghost ate his favourite T-shirt, he and Ygritte had the stupidest fight – as usual, her temperament was quite fiery and for how this ensured flaming hot sex but somehow, from time to time, turned into a huge mess of a fight for the most pointless reason – then he decided to spend time with his friends, but Sam was rather moody, with a hurt expression, Satin was blaming it all on him and... well, it was not his day, so he decided to go to bed early and the TV refused to work.

But now, being woken up at three am out of nothing, that was really the last drop.

He refused, stubbornly, to go to the door, until the realization struck him: Robb was supposed to come that day at midday. It was three am.

He rushed to the door fearing for it to be a policeman announcing his brother's burnt corpse had been found near the station and opened the door with a shrieked gasp.

In front of him stood a guy with an unimpressed look, blinking at him as if he had just saw the most disappointing view on the planet.

“You really don't look anything alike.”

“Told ya.”

Jon frowned, recognizing Robb's voice... and Robb appeared a bit after, at the door, with more suitcases than a man – or two, for the matter – would need. He smiled, greeting him with a nod of the head.

“My threesome plans are ruined, I am not sure I can forgive nature for this.”

Jon looked perplexed, “Is he calling me ugly?”

“No offence, darling. - he showed his hand, reaching out – I just get really blunt, when I'm drunk.”

“Oh, okay... wait a second..:”

Robb hugged his step-brother, digging his face into his shoulder, “Hey, I missed you.”

“...and you become clingy.” he said, a bit annoyed.

“Sorry.”

“Why did you drink so much and why are you so late and who is this guy?”

“Theon. - he said, offended, moving the tense hand in front of him, as if he were speaking to a monkey – This is an introduction custom, you hold it out and the person says their name.”

“I'm not fucking stupid, Leon!”

“Theon.”

“Whatever- who is he?”

Robb smiled, “I love him.”

“...this is beautiful and I don't care. - he shouted, turning to Theon again – Really? This one?”

“He is the sweetest guy. - Robb tried to whisper, but he was too tipsy and his voice went wavering and loud and he moved slightly while speaking – He is funny, he makes a bunch of jokes and he is so sensitive and he has the best ass in the world, you should see how...”

“Too much information, babe.” Theon patted his back.

Jon opened and closed his eyes a couple of times in horror. He sucked his lips and then mumbled, “And you'd both like to sleep here, I suppose?”

“He has a crazy ex so it'd be extra great.”

“A crazy ex like?”

“He kills puppies for fun and he collects weird serial killer books. - Theon mumbled, while kissing Robb's neck – I think I'm wasted.”

“You both are, pretty clearly. - Jon scratched his scalp – Look, uh, you can both stay on the sofa, I don't care.”

“Jon.”

He turned towards Theon, who looked quite serious behind a weird, oblique tipsy grin, “Thank you.”

Jon weighted the words in his mouth, nodding to himself, and sighed, “You had a long day, rest for tonight.”

Theon accepted and smiled, curling up next to Robb, already half-asleep on the sofabed. He laid with his head on Robb's arm and closed his eyes.

He forgot when the last time he went to sleep smiling was.

 

 


	3. epilogue

Final notes:

So, I realized it was a mistake to not write off this as completed, because to me it  was . Like... to me the story was going to be just those 2 chapters XD I left it “work in progress”, because I wanted to add a epilogue, sorta, but I realized this way some readers had been waiting a long time and I feel very very sorry about it! Hope you can forgive me and you will find this little closure sweet and nice ;) a big hug and thank you all <3 And I warn you... the cheesy is strong in this one.

* * *

 

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

 

12 months after...

 

“Greyjoy, the bathroom is not your exclusive!”

Theon ignored his warning once again and Jon stormed to the kitchen, unnerved and exasperated. He crossed his arms before his chest and stared down at his brother.

“Robb, your fiancé is an utter selfish prick.”

“He is not my fiancé, yet. - he smiled, enthusiastically – But I plan to ask him to marry me soon.”

“Adorable. Be quick or you'll be widowed before marriage.”, he warned.

Robb chuckled, “Aren't you being a bit excessive? Theon is just a trimmed, neat man.”

“No, Theon is every stereotype about vain gay men and mirrors, and I live in fucking Venice. He is vainer than Italian boys. He has a problem.”

Robb shook his head and looked happily outside the big window in Jon's apartment where he and Theon moved a bit after they met.

Jon was having problems in finding a new flatmate as some of his classmates left the course, Theon wanted to try living in Italy and Robb... Robb fell in love. It was quite reckless, but Robb remembers it as the smoothest and most natural thing ever: when they had to leave, he simply didn't.

Theon decided to come with him on the train to Milan, so Robb could take the flight from Malpensa Airport, they were almost there, when Robb looked at him and stated “I don't want to go.” .

And Theon's eyes got big and he just let out, “Then don't.” .

Two days after, Robb was invading Jon's apartment – his brother didn't even protest, he just shook his head and accepted his brother had The Supreme Crush TM – with all of his stuff, his family got notified he fell in love with “the most charming man in the world” and that he was not coming back any soon, followed by a thousand apologies. 

His parents replied they were very disappointed in him: taking this decision without even introducing them to the nice lucky boy? Unforgivable.

And, well, his family didn't adore Theon, but they accepted him as soon as they saw the most important thing: he made Robb happy. Truly happy.

“So... - Jon asked sipping his coffee – The big plan for the proposal is?”

“I'll ask him on the train.”

“... whoa, romantic, a death/life situation. - he stared deadpan into his brother's eyes – Look, no offence, but.. what?”

“You don't get it: we met on a train! We decided to live together on a train! We have to decide to marry on a train.”

“... I swear, I am trying to see the romanticism in this, but it's hard.”

Robb sighed, “I considered a church, but-”

“Wait, a church? You are two atheist gay men.”

“Well, it's about our first time to... - he is about to say it when he realizes what he is saying, he shuts up but horror is by then already painted undeletable on Jon's face – It's not what it sound like.”  
“I am not gonna ask.”, he said, standing up and going out of the kitchen.

“No no, wait, I need your help for this thing...”

“How may I help this more sinful than I originally thought union?”

Robb shone in joy, a big grin widening on his lips.

“I need you to get something for me from the post office.”

 

*

 

Now, it's not like Theon hates trains, he fairly likes them, despite Italian trains being constantly late, broken, on strike or dirty beyond sanitary conditions.

But when Robb said he wanted absolutely to have a trip, he hoped to be going by car, alone, to have their own rhythm and music and stuff. Instead, they are now on a train that’s way too cold, crowded and filled with a foul stench coming from two kids past the date of expectancy to wear diapers, clearly not having learnt yet the use of a toilet.

“Why a train?”, he sighed exasperated.

Robb smiled, quite proud of his plan, “Oh, but it brings back memories, doesn't it?”

“Like me running away from a crazy ex?”, Theon suggested in a smug sarcastic smirk.

Robb seems to realize that only then and gets all white.

“Wait-”

“I was joking. - Theon laughed – I can joke about it now, nice... - it tasted good in his mouth – Look, I appreciate the romanticism, but are you sure we can't go to Verona by car?”

“The city of Romeo and Juliet is waiting for us. - Robb doesn't waver nor flinch for a millimetre – Accept your fate.”

Theon pouted and sank into his seat, pretending to be offended a bit more, but searching for Robb's hand as soon as the train left the station.

“That's quite cheesy even for your standard, Stark. - Theon smirked – I have the sensation you are planning something.”

“Care to expand?”

“Maybe it has to do with the apartment you signed in yellow on the newspaper?”, a victorious grin.

“Well, yeah, I hoped to leave Jon's place sooner.”

“Me too. - Theon scoffed – He is quite insufferable.”

Robb shook his head, “He likes you, you could make an effort.”

Theon gave him a look charged with all his doubts for such an affirmation, then he opened his eyes and his mouth went agape in surprise.

“What's up?”

“You have a white hair.”

“What”

“You have a white hair. - Theon laughed and pulled it out, showing it to Robb – Aren't you too young for this? Or have you been lying to me all this time and you are a vampire?”

Robb frowned. Maybe he was a little stressed lately with the wedding thing...

His eyes flicker on Theon's soft lips, contemplating kissing them in a frenzy, and a sad look painted on his face.

“Children?”

“Yeah... - Robb let out, annoyed – Don't feel like discussing with the parents what we should show them.”

“That's a shame, because if they moved away offended we wouldn't risk to lose our sense of smell in order to survive.”

Robb laughed, “Well, sorry, five siblings, all younger, lost mine long ago.”

Theon shook his head, “Thank God we won't have those.”

Robb frowned.

“What?”

“ _Well_. - Theon looks around – We... are two boys.”

“Thank you, science professor. I mean, you... you don't want them?”

“No! - Theon laughed – Oh mercy, no, no. That would be atrocious.”

Robb swallowed, nervously, suddenly looking down at his stomach and hands, squeezing his fingers.

“It's... it's a bit too cold here, I'm going to find the ticket inspector to see if he can do something.”

He smiled, but Theon frowned, confused. Something was up.

“Speak up.”

Robb let out a small mumble, “Are you... excluding kids completely?”

“My father hates me and my mom got Alzheimer when I was a kid, I don’t have any good example to follow and I am myself selfish and bratty at times. How can I be responsible for... a human being? - he laughed a bit, nervously – Can't we settle for a cat? Or a dog, even a dog.”

And Robb shut up.

Because Theon sounded really reasonable and honest and he knows he is just really into kids due to his big, happy family, but... a little treasure for him and Theon to take care of? A little ball of yawns and laughs that Theon would have cradled and made funny faces at? The idea filled his heart with such warmth, and such a light...

He never considered Theon might not agree to it. He automatically thought they were on the same page.

Theon frowned, worried, he passed a hand through Robb's curls, ruffling them tenderly.

“Are they so vital to you?”

“No. - he lied – It's just... kids.”

“Umh.”

“Also, I mean, Venice is expensive to live in, so...”

“Well, we won't have to live there all our lives. - Theon pointed out, a bit hurt – We could move.”

“...and what? Change roots and jobs and follow the wind?”

“Maybe. - now they both sounded annoyed and Theon crossed his arms in front of his chest – There is no need to settle down at our age.”

“I guess.”, Robb grumbled, looking away.

Theon stiffed, a thorn pinching his heart, “What's going on, Robb? Why are you planning our life already?”

“We are together, it's obvious I have projects!”

“Projects? - Theon scoffed – Is that what I am? A project? I'm a person, you have to consult me before taking this kind of decision.”

“And you have tons of commitment issues that make it impossible to discuss this stuff without ending up fighting.”

Robb was not wrong and Theon hated to admit that.

He gave a low sigh and just turned to the other side, ignoring him.

Minutes passed with them alternating looks and peeks and turning for some millimetres as to check the other's reaction, for then to turn silently to their previous position, finding it harder and harder each time to not make up. Theon turned a bit and then sat a bit less properly, so the shirt would have lifted a bit, showing part of his hips and stomach, which Robb adored. Robb put his lips a bit out, a bit perky, because he knew Theon liked them and could not resist a well-used pout.

The ticket inspector arrived and Robb caught the occasion: he moved to hand the tickets and mumbled, “Me and my boyfriend's, here.”.

There was no need to precise, but Theon knew he did to communicate they were still together and the fight didn't change it at all nor would have. It was a little habit of precision Robb got with time, because after Theon's ugly experience with his ex – every fight to him was a sign he didn't deserve Robb and he would have gone away from his life. Robb started doing what he always does: taking care of him without letting him know expressly or explicitly he was.

When the man went away, awkwardly confused by the couple, Theon simply moved to the side and laid on Robb, resting his head on Robb's shoulder.

Like a small kitten.

Robb let him and smiled, caressing Theon's dark locks.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? - Theon frowned – I was the mean one.”

“Well, I should have expressed my opinion more... calmly... I was just a bit-”

“Hurt?”, Theon suggested, a weirdly sad and white pitch in his voice.

“No. - Robb granted, kissing his head and pulling him closer – No, it's just... since we got together, you are a bit my family and I... I wanted to build one with you. - Theon frowned and hid his face against Robb's collarbones – But forcing people to adopt kids is wrong, it'd be unfair of me.”

Theon sighed, “I just don't think I'd be good with them, I'd probably mess them up.”

“You wouldn't. - Robb said, kissing his hair again – But, look, I don't want you to pick them just for my sake. Or we both agree or...”

“Or you leave me?”, Theon suggested, dryly.

“No! - Robb moved Theon away, shocked, staring into his eyes – No, for fucks' sake, in that case we will stick to cats! I don't want to break up with you, idiot.”

Theon's eyes look big as if he were about to cry, so he sniffed it away and searched for his smug look.

“Better for you....”

Robb sighed, “I, look, we are different, but I want to work together, to make projects together, not me on you, but us. - he holds a bit to his backpack – I just felt a bit... caught off guard.”

Theon frowned, “Why are you so clingy with that bag?”

“I'm hungry. - he lied, showing off a big smile – Want some chocolate?”

“Not feeling like it. - Theon admitted in a small chuckle – I just want to arrive soon.”

“Eager to visit?”

“Just the hotel room.”, he replied, batting his eyelids sensually.

Robb stiffed, suddenly feeling his spine hard as metal and soon-to-be-followed by some other part of him. He let out a small, weak chuckle.

Of course he wanted to have sex, but, well, in his plan it all happened after he made the proposal, not before. And after that spat about children he wondered if he had to dedicate the return travel of the following day to his plan.

But then that meant not... fully enjoying Theon's company and his many talents and the possibility of being away from their usual apartment where, sure, they had sex without problem, but had to keep their voices low.

And, god, Robb loves when Theon is loud.

It feels completely different and in such a good way. It was not simply for the sound itself, which was delicious and delirious and made Robb harder and more voracious, ran through by an electric arousal at the sight of Theon losing any restraint and control. The complete relaxation didn't make him only louder, but also squirmier and twisting, lewder in sounds, words and gestures. Often, he'd go hard also on scratching his back with the little nails he had and, damn, Robb went insane when he did.

It was also flattering, let's not lie, he felt so good and so big, whenever Theon was so vocal and so explicit about his pleasure.

“Are you okay?”

Robb grumbled, “I guess.”

Theon grinned, a wide, smug, grin, “Oh, you were imagining it.”

“How do you even?”

“Your hands are clenching, veins a bit out, red face... you were or angry or thinking impure thoughts. - he seemed very happy with himself – Very _very_ vivid impure thoughts.”

Robb looked away, embarrassed, “It's hard not to imagine it.”

“You won't need to wait long. - he smirked – Very soon... - he passed his finger on his neck and collarbones – Very, very soon.”

“Theon-”

“Yes?”

“I'd... - he swallowed, cursing himself – I, I think we should visit the city before, you know, or we could just end up staying in the hotel the whole time, like when we went to Florence.”

Theon seemed disappointed. He had confidence in his charm.

“Seems reasonable.”, he said with the pitch of a kid asked to wait hours more to open his Christmas present. A very, very nice Christmas present he was already ready to unwrap.

A very very big Christmas-

“Can't I even have a bathroom handjob?”, he asked, half-pleading with stars in his eyes.

“No, no kitten eyes! - Robb reprimanded him – The bathroom is dirty.”

“Then what about here?”

“There are children. - Robb tried, in vain, with Theon's hand already on his jeans and rubbing his bulge - … and it's... public.”

The long smirk on Theon's lips denied any care from him.

“Oh, c'mon. - his silky voice dropped in his ears scorching hot – It's not like we never did it in public, mister holy oil lube.”

“Don't remind me.”, he chuckled, trying to contain his arousal growing through the jeans.

Theon's hand kept moving as he whispered, “Just keep quiet. If I'm in front of you, they can't see. - the corners of his lips lifted even more – Unless that's what arouses you.”

“Th- Theon...”

Power fuelled his veins and his hand moved quicker, then unbuttoning and unzipping Robb's jeans, licking his lips like a hungry cat close to a bowl of milk.

His fingers knew him, how to touch him and Robb was so weak to those magnetic eyes.

He let out a weak protest, “Theon, no.”

Theon frowned, furrowed his eyebrows and squinted his eyes in suspicion.

“No?”

“I- I have to talk to you about something.”

“Something.”

“Yeah.”

Theon stared at him, “Are you breaking up with me, have cancer or do you formulate sentences without thinking about how the hell they sound?”

“The latter? - Robb let out – Theon, I wanted to...”

“Ci scusiamo coi signori passeggeri, ma il treno potrebbe subire un ritardo imprecisato a causa di una scimmia sui binari”, the voice announced.

Robb frowned, then stared in the void, “Is my Italian still awful or they said there is a...”

“Monkey on the tracks. - Theon confirmed, sighing – Unprecised delay. Yahoo.”

“I feel like we bring bad luck to trains.”

Theon chuckled, “Maybe I wished too much to just get in that bed with you.”

“Are you so uninterested in visiting the city? I mean, we could go to Juliet's house, visit the old walls, go to the roman open theatre.”

“Robb, no offence, but when I'm without Jon around all I think about is you fucking my ass furiously as a damn animal. - he turned feeling observed and saw a kid staring at him, head tilted – And I am so glad you have no idea what I said.”

“Animal...”, the child repeats, butchering the word slightly.

“Damn foreign language programs in elementary schools.”

Robb coughed, “I get your... instinct, but I wished we could have somewhat of a romantic weekend.”

“Since when is sex not romantic?”

“Since you put it in the terms of fucking your ass furiously as a damn animal.”

“I was gonna add a slutty before ass, I already contained myself, thank you.”

“ _Theon_.”

“What?”

Robb groaned, “I wanted to ask you to...”

A man reached them; he was supposed to be in a uniform, but instead he had an half-opened shirt, rolled up sleeves and was sweating copiously. He kept patting his wet forehead with a cotton handkerchief and panted heavily.

He started ranting quickly in a very accented Italian, which Theon seemed to follow still easily, but Robb lost it after the first sentence, trying to bring himself to get what half of the words were and then fell behind heavily. He just stared at the two discussing fluently and stayed there in silence.

Theon nodded, listening carefully and then turned to Robb, “The AC is broken. It will get really hot. There is also a part of the train that apparently broke trying to avoid the monkeys so we...”

“So we won't move?”

“Not any soon.”

Robb groaned, exasperated. He and his stupid plan, he should have just gotten the car.

The man added something and Theon laughed, genuinely amused. He nodded, with a bit of a flirty pitch and a wink and the man added something else. Robb couldn't feel his own face, flames burning it from the inside, anger sparkling in his veins and he closed his arms more.

Theon smiling at someone else that way made him sick.

When the man left, he felt his tongue stinging to speak.

“What did he say?”

Theon frowned, “I told you?”

“The last bit.”

“It was not important.”

“It is for me. - Robb half-yelled – Did he hit on you?”

Theon looked around, confused, “No?”

“But you found him cute.”

“...he is probably beyond forty. - he squinted his eyes – Are you jealous?”

“You flirted.”

“How can you say I flirted if you don't know what I said?”

“You used the flirty seductive irresistible voice...”, Robb mumbled, hiding a bit his mouth behind his arm.

Theon sighed and put his head against Robb's forehead.

“I appreciate jealousy, but only when you use it as fuel in bed, mister. - he smiled, trying to sound funny, but betraying a tender look – Want to tell me what's up?”

Robb sighed. He didn't know how to explain it: I want to make you mine, I want you to commit to me, to be mine for all our years until we get arthritis and our penises stop working properly and I can't eat anymore and you'll have to spoon-feed me and god I hope our bladders will resist? I want us to marry and I'm terrified of you saying 'no' and loving someone else?

“I was an irrational twat, I'm sorry.”

Theon kissed Robb's curls.

“Once in a while, it's funny to exchange roles, but remember, I'm the drama queen here.”, he poked his nose and smiled.

Robb pushed forward for a kiss and caught his lips in his own.

Heat was starting to crack the air, cold melting around them and sweat running through their foreheads. Robb couldn't feel any of it, though. He pressed his fingers on Theon's arm and pulled closer, swallowing every moan of protest and turning it in a half-pleasured sound.

Theon's eyes closed, letting him win.

Robb pressed and kept him close, filled his mouth and ran his fingers on Theon's back and hips.

Heat broke their breaths and Robb kept Theon closer, refusing to let go.

Theon's hand on his cheek felt though fresh and kind, “Robb?”

“My plan went to shit.”

“Plan?”

“I wanted to take the train and it to be romantic, as our first meeting. I wanted to visit the city of Romeo and Juliet and have your little eyes shine. I wanted this whole weekend to be a fairy-tale.”

“Hm...”  
“And here we are stuck in this train, sweating, with food you don't feel like, and I accused you of hitting on another man.”

“That sounds a bit shitty now that you say it like that...”, Theon admitted, amused enough.

Robb groaned, sinking into the seat.

“I hate trains.”

“I quite like them. We met on one. - Theon said, calmly in his silky dark voice, before putting himself a bit more against Robb, invading his seat – And, to be fair, the ridiculous delay sort of fits that meeting more.”

“True...”

“Did you also hire a man to get punched at the station?”

“No, I...”

“I'm still not grasping why going through this much trouble.”

Robb sighed, opened his bag and took out a small box, a red one.

“My mom sent it to me. - he smiled, tenderly, light shining in his eyes – It's the family one and...”

He stopped.

Theon was terrified.

Not cutely terrified, no, truly terrified. Almost horrified, even.

His pupils went thin and his face pale, he swallowed nervously and couldn't speak.

Robb froze.

It was a no.

He didn't... it was a no.

A cracked “oh” came out of his mouth, in a feeble whisper and he couldn't move to put the box away.

Theon shook, realizing, “I-I'm sorry, Robb, it's just...”

“I get it.”, he lied.

No, he didn't. He didn't get it.

Because he felt like marrying that damn smug idiot the first day they met.

Because he insisted on a date like he never did before because he knew, he knew inside himself, that he was the one. That Theon bewitched him and took over his heart in a instant and forever.

He couldn't get it.

He couldn't get that refusal.

Theon shivered in panic seeing him like that, he sweated more, his eyes looked around for an escape route and then he stood up and went away, out of the damn door of the train wagon.

Robb blinked and followed, unsure why. Maybe it would have been more dignified not to but he had to follow, he had to hear a reason he could grasp.

There he was, out of the wagon, sitting in the middle of the grass. Some people were smoking cigarettes around there, some had their dogs move a bit.

Theon stood lonely, a bit further away than everyone.

Like a mermaid, Robb thought, always on a cliff closest to the ocean.

He came next to him and sat there, seeing him tremble. Theon didn't expect him to follow, after all.

“I'm sorry, I was too... I was rushing too much, we’ve just been together for a year, who the fuck marries after that amount of time? I mean, we should wait three maybe four, I just...”

Theon turned and, god, Robb had to force himself not to kiss him then, because he looked beautiful and his eyes were full of tears he couldn't let out and his lips quivered and his hair was messed up by the wind.

“I'm afraid.”

“...of?”

“You getting tired of me, Robb. Of me being unbearable. - he sighed – You resisted much longer than anyone else, I’ll give you that, whoa, like, admirable. Maybe you are a saint but... you'll get tired, maybe in a month, maybe in one year... and...”

Robb frowned, “Why would I get tired of you, exactly?”

“...have you seen me? Have you actually ever realized how I am?”

Robb laughed, loudly.

He slapped himself in the face and then passed his hand over his hair, ruffling them, before laughing harder.

“I- You mean... self-centred, picky, vain, insecure, arrogant, immature...”

Theon pouted, “...thanks.”

“I love it. - Robb laughed – I love how you are, which happens to include all of this stuff. I find you... mesmerizing. After a year still and... - he moved closer – Maybe to you I'm the one who resisted longer, but trust me when I say you are also the only one who I felt the same about as the first day I met after such a long time. I, for one, get bored and end up staying with people out of duty or... for the sake of being nice... but with you I have fun. Every day. I feel... look, I....”

Theon turned and his eyes shone lighter.

Robb put a hand on his cheek, caressing it, letting him cup against it.

“Theon, I'm with you out of selfishness. I like, I love sharing time with you.”

“You're not doing me a favour?”

“I wouldn't pity date someone who’s criticized all my clothes, no offence.”

“I met hobos better dressed than how you were before I happened to you, mister.”, he mocked, smirking and the bending for a kiss.

Robb caught his lips and breathed Theon's scent into his heart. Their lips met and Robb could feel the summer hazing around them, glimmering under their skins.

“So. - he mumbled – Should I ask again in a year?”

“ _Hell no_. - Theon put his hands in Robb's pockets and grabbed the box putting it back in Robb's hand – Do it properly.”

Robb stood up just to go on his knees. He smiled and held the open box in his hands.

“Theon Greyjoy, would you make me the happiest man on earth?”

 


End file.
